Thea's thoughtful parcel, kodak ls753
I'm sitting here at my desk facing one of the two Spanish style arched windows thru our loft wall that Carsten made with his creative hands. The soft morning sun beams are peering through our windows downstairs, finding their way up to me through the arch. I've come to cherish this precious time when the sun yawns and stretches its arms to bless me with morning’s first rays. I leave the remainder of the lofts lights off so that I am mindful of the myriad of colors nature delivers.
One of my kitties, Amber, is sitting perched on the top of the stairway behind me, bathing in the warmth as the light warms her furry face. She watches my fingers moving across the keyboard intently.
My other kitty, Elvis, walks across the floor around me. I hear the tickity tack of his nails on the hardwood floor and as he brushes up against my shins for my morning kitty-hug, his deep purr progressively get louder.
The steam from my raspberry leaf tea in my lime green mug atop my desk floats further up like two smoky dancers.
My thoughts drift to Thea
and the very thoughtful parcel she sent my way. I spent my weekend devouring the book
and listening to the CD...how I love The Weepies
. I love to read but I usually read in bits so that there is a long stretch of time before I finish. I started reading the book Thea sent me on Friday night and finished it last night before laying my head to sleep.
The timing of her parcel couldn’t have been any more perfect.
Let me share with you what is on the back of this book…because as though I tried to type it in my own words, I could not explain it any better:“Julia Indichova’s pilgrimage takes her through the offices of the best that modern medicine has to offer, as well as through a maze of surprising alternatives. The point is not which methods she chooses but how she chooses them – by paying careful attention to her needs and responses, a skill that not only brings her a child but changes her approach to life. Ultimately, what she discovers and what this book teaches us is that when we have faith, and honor our own truth rather than docilely place ourselves in the hands of others, all the rules change. Whether we long to birth a child, a work of art, or a vital, fulfilling life, the journey begins with trusting our deepest widsom: the expert within who always knows the next best step.”
Carsten and I decided a bit ago to take a few months off from trying to conceive so that we can rest and rejuvenate. Up until this point, we were on an alternative path…Chinese medicine, herbs, acupuncture, meditation. I have been most comfortable with this path because it felt natural and safe and less invasive. I wanted to trust my body’s ability to heal itself with the help of spirituality and Mother Nature.
I have an appointment with a fertility specialist in a few days. A Western doctor, that is. I tend to get intimidated with doctors because I feel like I am always on a time crunch when trying to explain why I am there. I am mindful of the hundreds of other patients they’ve seen that day and why would I be special or important? We are going there to see if there are any more tests to be taken other than the ones we’ve already had. I also want to keep my options open. Although I have been on a preferred natural path, I am choosing not to be ignorant to Western philosophies.
This book has given me much strength to prepare for this visit. The author went through the offices of the best that modern medicine had to offer her and many times received conflicting diagnosis. What she learned was how to tune out the voices outside telling her it was impossible to get pregnant naturally and listened to her own body and intuition.
In reference to a yoga class the author attended, she said… “Such places and such people strengthen the voice that tells me to trust my own judgment. The voice that gives me the authority to decide what does and does not make sense…and not give that authority to someone else.”
I want to take that with me into this appointment. I want to stay aware and open to my own judgment of what they think will be best for me. I am not opposed to a Western approach if it feels right for me and if I have confidence in my doctor. I just haven't had that experience yet with whom I have seen prior to going the Eastern route.
I will continue with acupuncture and will be taking supplements and herbs starting next month given to me by my uber-supportive acupuncturist…and that feels very right to me so far.
This book has inspired me to be conscious about everything I put into my body…including thoughts, images, food, drink. I have done this to a point but not fully…especially in regards to positive thinking and confidence about whether or not we will conceive.
I know full well that everyone has their own path. That what works for one person, may not work for another. That is exactly why I need to remain open to what is right for me.
So, thank you dear Thea…thank you for the perfect timing of this very thoughtful parcel full of so much that I needed. Including the yummy tunes. : )