Saturday, June 23

kapha girls

Beautiful Schmoopy, Canon Digital Rebel XTi

Imagine this...

Walking through a concrete and metal land of high lofts dripping with colors and covered in deconstruction. A contrast to this is the lush green ivy trailing up the side of the lofts and a plethora of tall and small potted plants providing privacy to the entrances of each door as we pass them. Artists of all types live and create there. A whole community of them. A commune of sorts tucked away in the craziness of downtown Los Angeles.

This is where the lovely Schmoopy lead me to today. At the end of our journey, we found our destination. Hip Cooks...a funky loft with a kitchen to die for and a large farm table with bench seats to sit, learn and break bread together.

We spent the day learning how to make and consume raw veggie and fruit juices, raw pasta, stuffed raw mushrooms, walnut pate and dessert tarts. At times the class of 12 would stand around the instructor's half moon shaped counter and help her slice zucchini or push down veggies/fruit in a juicer and fill up wine glasses while she waved her hands around and passionately shared her wisdom of food. She was so totally animated and adorable...creating such an easy, fun, welcoming environment for each of us. The other half of the class was spent sitting at the farm table, sharing our stories and learning more about how and why to juice, detox and tips on incorporating raw foods into your diet.

There were two women teaching and they both had such a balanced way of doing this. They encouraged us to listen to how our bodies react to the diets we try and the foods we consume because we all are so very different that there is no way one diet works for everyone. YES...open and practical minds!

The best part of the day was being with Schmoopy. She's someone you can just melt into because she is so calming, kind and down to earth.

Each student in the class did a test on Ayurveda to find out what dosha body type we were. Everyone was the same dosha except for Schmoops and I. We were the only Kapha's. Totally funny and made us feel special because in another time and place Kapha's were considered royalty. ; )

It cracks me up how the three dosha's (Vita, Pitta, Kapha) sound like sororities!

I am off to hug the redwoods for a week. Bless all of you...

Thursday, June 21

summer bringing joy

suzanne, canon digital rebel xti

I had a dream last night that I was fully pregnant. I mean..I really FELT what it would be like to be pregnant. This has never happened. I've always had dreams with babies or children but not pregnant. It was delicious. I felt so connected to the baby and my husband. Boho Boy and I walked together holding hands laughing about our bliss...and feeling grateful for the journey leading us there.

Totally joyful dream.

The guided imagery exercises I am doing in my waking life must really be absorbing into my subconscious. I love it and am grateful for these tools.

Another thing bringing me joy right now is this weekend. Saturday I am doing a Hip Cooks raw food & juice class with Schmoops and on Sunday the hubs and I leave to go camping for a week in the Redwoods of Northern California.

Yumiliciousness all around.

Happy Summer Solstice you beauties!

Monday, June 18

self portrait challenge ~ environment

me in my kitchen, canon digital rebel xti

This months self portrait challenge is us in our environment.

Today has been a divine day. I walked for a long while on the beach listening to the Weepies on my iPod. Then I laid down a towel, sat up and watched all the kiddies learn how to surf with a cool organization called Surf Diva's. I know...only in Southern Cali.

I then took leisurely strolls through the aisles of Whole Foods Market to get some organic goodies for our next few meals. I usually run in and out and rarely take time to discover all their sweet funky products. Today I spent over an hour in there and stocked up on some healthy munchies for our camping trip next week.

I then came home and before I showered all the sand off, prepared for our dinner tonight. Anyone that has known me a long time knows that it is crazy that I am doing this. I never used to cook. Didn't enjoy it and never once thought about preparing a meal hours in advance!

I am a whole new me in the kitchen nowadays. I enjoy the process of cutting up and marinating...and taking my time. I know I am keeping our bodies alive and well with the special foods we prepare. It's sacred to me now. A way of being grateful to our Mother Earth and the nourishment provided for us.

Up above is a portrait of me today. If you were standing near me you'd smell ocean in my hair and see sand all over my skin. I worked hard all weekend and it felt good to play today.

I love where I live.

Sunday, June 17


rocks painted by the lovely Mcmermie, canon digital rebel xti

I have these delicious painted rocks spread throughout my coffee table. Each day I pick one up and hold the affirmation in my hand until I truly feel it.

I love affirmations.

If any of you are inspired to share some...this post can be their home.

Thursday, June 14

cool shoes and brangelina

my feetsies, canon digital rebel xti

I want to thank El Naturalista for sending me these darling shoes as a gift for talking about their shoes so much on my blog. Such a pleasant surprise. Seriously though...their shoes rock. I wear mine every day. The most comfortable shoes I've ever owned. Comfort & cuteness...how can you go wrong?

In my last post I shared with you guys that I am dream journaling every morning.

Okay...so last night I had a dream that my husband and I were hanging out with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. So random and funny.

I remember my hubs and Brad sitting on this bench in a garden with their feet kicked up on a box and they were drinking beers, toasting, singing and laughing. All the while, Angelina and I were sitting on the grass dumping a bag of all these hair products she bought for me all over the ground. She washed my hair in their pond and styled it for me with the new products. We hung out with them all day. They had this huge mansion with ivy growing up the walls. Angelina and I kept running around and around their home, playing like little girls. I remember her telling me she felt so misunderstood and she hugged me crying. Later that evening they had a huge dinner party and I met Julia Roberts. She was 8 feet tall. Totally weird. Angelina walked around her party holding my hand, introducing me to all her friends. All the while, Boho Boy and Brad were still drinking beers and making each other and everyone else laugh.

So yah...in all this serious dream journaling I am doing, trying to find true deep meaning and new insights into my heart...how the heck can I analyze us being besties with Brangelina????

Tuesday, June 12

self portrait challenge ~ environment

self portrait in my home, canon digital rebel xti

For the last few weeks I have begun dream journaling. My morning ritual is to pour myself a mug of hot green tea, sit on my couch and listen to the morning birds as I write down my dreams from the previous night.

I've never done this before. I've wanted to but never put aside the time. I have a dear friend who does this almost every day. She has learned to interpret her dreams and others and uses it in her counseling practice. My sister got into this for awhile and I remember calling her when I would remember an odd dream and she would get out her large juicy dream book and walk me through all the symbolism.

The author in the current book I am reading suggested to buy a gorgeous journal and before you drift off into dream land, say to yourself..."I remember my dreams and I write them down when I wake."

She believes that we can gain much insight into ourselves through our dreams. That revelations will gradually unfold and that when we are caught up in a conflict or difficulty, every dream comes to offer additional clues.

I've done this for a few weeks now and I must say she has something here. I've had a lot of reoccurring concepts in each dream. It could be a completely different environment or with totally different people but many of my feelings and ideas are similar.

Some are beautiful...and some, not so much. To me it has been very self healing. Another form of listening to my heart and what it needs or is longing to move through.

With each dream, I am encouraged to ask the following questions to help me find clues. If you'd like to try this along with me, I am curious of your thoughts and feelings within your own discoveries:

What is the strongest feeling I have after waking up?

How is this dream or any part of it similar to my waking reality?

Is the dream validating or rejecting a choice I've made in my waking life?

What direction is the dream moving in? Who am I at the beginning and who am I at the end?

If someone I know appears, why is he/she showing up right now?

Sunday, June 10

into the chaos of his heart...

mermie & couchboy, canon digital rebel xti

"She writes a letter. Single spaced.
Breathless. No pauses. Just lets it
run together and rush like the bottom,
bottom of the waterfall.
She rides her bike to his house.
Takes the long way but pedals fast.
And then slides those liquid words
under his door. Into the chaos of his heart.

She stormed into his life and took control
of the right side of his brain."

Monique Duval, The Persistance of Yellow

I am such a swooner about romance. Mermie let me borrow this book when I went to her cottage last week. I've been devouring it. I resonate so much with how this author writes inspired by her playful imagination.

I love how she describes the anticipation and surrender of love in the quotes above.

I cannot say enough about the connection between mermie and couchboy and how it is full of acceptance and adoration. I loved photographing them and plan to do it again soon. Nothing was ever staged. It was so very organic. Just how I prefer it to be. I just told them I wanted to be in the background while they connected. So they did...and I was lucky enough to capture it.

The exchange that transpired between the three of us that day while shooting is why I am passionate about photography.

Friday, June 8

my true self

my eyes, taken by boho brother, canon digital rebel xt

"Today I had a conversation with my true self. She was perturbed with me. She asked why I had abandoned her, why I had ignored all her constant advice. And she reminded me of all the things I had forgotten. And never once did she say...I told you so."

~ Monique Duval, The Persistance of Yellow

Yesterday, as I was talking and being heard by my therapist, she kept asking me...what do YOU think about this...how do YOU feel about this. I always paused for a bit, searching, thinking...hmmm, how DO I feel about this? It was so easy for me to talk about how I think everyone else might feel but she kept bringing it over to me. She gently made me aware that I don't ask myself enough. That I tend to worry or think about everyone elses feelings about decisions I have made.

I am learning some tools to hear myself more. To tap into what my body, mind and soul are telling me. I mean...they do know me best and I am learning they are pretty damn wise. Not only are they wise but they are humble about it and never scold me for forgetting.

I love that.

Monday, June 4

mermaids live in cottages too...

dancing mermaid, canon digital rebel xti

i walked up to her blue cottage by the sea, breathing in the ocean air as though it was the first time i had taken a breath in a long, long time.

she had tiny colorful rocks gently laid on both sides of the walkway to her door, inviting a faerie spirit with their whimsical painted messages..."joy, wisdom, heal, laugh, love...".

she opened her door with her bright smile, yoga pants and cool funky head wrap. one couldn't help but fall in love. the smell of incense brought warmth and the feeling of home. suddenly my eyes were feasting on all the colors and textures of her abode. saturated walls. silks draping over tables lined with crystals, rocks, and candles lit. white lights hanging on a window. a turquoise bowl filled with purple flowers. i didn't want to stop marinating in the gorgeousness, the peacefulness of what she's created. it was a dream cottage. the one i had always imagined SARK would live in. perhaps its because they're such kindred spirits (and friends).

i immediately curled up on her couch beneath a window and dove into girlyness with her. i don't do this enough. i've been pretty solitary where i live for a while. it's just where i've needed to be. but suddenly i want to get out, to connect, to breathe the outside air and gaze into the eyes of a friend that i can touch.

i've been craving gentleness lately. i know i have written that word a lot this past week but it is just what i need right now.

this is what she blessed me with yesterday as she handed me a salad tossed in a rainbow bowl and listened, truly listened. and i truly listened and we were gentle with one another.

i also met another gentle bean. her companion. we call him couch boy. because she first met him on the couch at a coffee shop. he's all kinds of cool...and heartful~ness and the way he loves her makes me swoon.

mermie & couchboy, canon digital rebel xti

i think this adventure was a healthy step for me. you know how i feel right now? like i am stretching wide and deep after taking a very very long nap.

mermaids have that effect on you.

Saturday, June 2

making music

guitar in sand, canon digital rebel xti

boho boy and i just got home from seeing the film Once. it is one of the most moving, genuine and touching films i've ever experienced. a friend suggested it last week, telling me it was a gentle film. i figured gentle was just about what we needed right now. she was so right. what a perfect description.

it has inspired both of us to make music together. he has been writing some music for a song and wants me to write the lyrics. i've never done that before. i've written poetry but never lyrics. i think it's time to open up my heart to write...and also to sing again. i used to love to sing but was always so shy about it. my husband thinks i have a beautiful voice but i have battled with a scar all my life from someone once telling me i was tone deaf as a child. then i joined choir in high school and was told i had a good ear for someone who didn't yet grasp notes. i sang at graduation. i sang in college...but that scar still lingered and continues to do so. it has prevented me from truly singing out loud with abandon...unless i was alone.

i felt the scar melting away today. as he was playing his guitar and i was humming a melody that flowed through me...something awakened within. so much of this ties in with me finding my voice that i've mentioned in my last few posts. perhaps this is another piece of it.

it can be another medium for us to express ourselves on this journey, helping us recognize that we truly are always conceiving together. today it is melodies...

Friday, June 1

a whole new way...

boho boy, canon digital rebel xti

my husband and i have decided to begin a new refreshing path on our journey to conceive. a path of listening to our own inner wisdom and guidance. just him and me for now. outside influences were becoming too confusing, conflicting and not quite resonating with our hearts. it took time to get to this place but now that we are here...it feels like home.

it its scary and yet so empowering. i feel like i am breaking up with two people that i love so much but have realized they are no longer serving me and perhaps i am no longer serving them. the healing that was once there had somehow been stifled and it became hurtful, not helpful.

you know you've made the right decision when your whole entire being feels as though it is taking a deep breath and a sense of pure and divine freedom flows through you. a sense of knowing. a truth. a rediscovering of self and your own voice.

it's like a whole new way of learning, thinking, feeling, breathing...