Open

old fire hydrant, kodak easyshare digital

This week I have shared some pretty deep, raw emotions with a few of my girls and really realized how important it is to have my feelings validated.

I feel like each one of them knew I just needed to be heard. I didn’t need a solution to the problem but just someone to listen and say…”I so get it”.

Somehow that gives me strength. It gives me courage to open up parts in my soul where doors are beginning to close.

“Cry…yes, cry…get it out”…Bobbi says gently while she sits on the other end of the phone and tears begin to fall down my face in quiet sobs. I could sense that she was relieved I wasn’t holding it in and was releasing. It didn’t make her nervous or uncomfortable. I just heard her calming breath on the other line.

Within a few minutes I was laughing and telling her how I am going to get through this. She allowed that space for me to discover it on my own without trying to do it for me.

Suzi telling me to keep sharing when I do what is natural which is to stop and change the subject over to her when it starts feeling scary and too far into the trenches of my hurts. “No…what else…there’s more…keep going.”

Letha sensing that I am dodging and relentlessly asking…”What is going on in that pretty little head of yours?!?!?” When I am finished ranting, I tell her I would love her to create a collage post card for me laced with good vibes and she says…”I already made one for you on Monday...it’s in the mail.” *goosebumps*

Andrea laughing with me about the insanely ridiculous comments that are made throughout this process…”Relax…don’t stress”, “Your sperm has no chi”…whatever.

It’s like they just know. They know it’s “that week” when we discover it’s the 17^th month of waiting and not receiving that gift of a little life and they gather in a love~circle around me, around us.

Not caring about the broken record of emotions.

Validating that it’s tough and yes, it sucks.

Allowing me to spill it out and re-discover on my own how strong I am.

Watching the process of me open up the possibilities of my life, my future through it all.

Knowing that this journey is encouraging me to be open...not closed.

Validation rocks.