Self Portrait Challenge ~ Introduce Yourself #5

boho, canon digital rebel xt

Alas...the finale of this month's Self Portrait Challenge introductions, also known as "easy breezy boho bits" for this neck of the bloggie woods. The month of June our challenge is to experiment with Pop Art if we choose to accept it. I accept...big time!

But we're still in May. So here goes...

A few introductions back, I shared that I was an empath. I received some emails inquiring and I haven't yet responded (my apologies), so I thought I'd do it today.

Up until this past year I didn't know that I had this gift. I had an idea that I felt very different than most around me but I attributed it to just being "hyper sensitive" in every sense of the word. It wasn't until I had an enlightening conversation with another empath who picked up on my gift and she shared her experience with me that I found myself saying...YES, that is me...I get it! After I did my research, the puzzles of my life came together and it all made sense. It had a name. I am not a freak. I am actually special??? Well, we're all special...but you know what I mean.

I could go on and on about this but basically, in a nutshell, I can feel others emotions that are near me. Most times I actually take them on myself and have a difficult time deciphering whether or not they are my emotions or that of another. Every day, wherever I go, I absorb, absorb, absorb so that by the end of the day I am so entirely drained by all the voices, the feelings, the burdens I have picked up while walking by people. You can see how it is both a blessing and a curse.

A blessing because I am able to resonate with people and this helps me never to be judgmental. A blessing because being that I absorb their emotions, I take a little bit away from them, lightening their load. A blessing because I have a heightened sense of awareness and feel completely alive. A blessing because it inspires much creativity in me. A blessing because it helps me be a more kind and loving person.

A curse because I haven't yet learned how to channel this. A curse because I can walk by a person and feel darkness and evil while chills travel up my spine and then walk by another and feel grief and insecurity, then another and feel extremely wild joy. It goes on and on. I feel my emotions inflate and deflate within seconds and I leave feeling terribly drained. I am learning certain ways not to absorb. The woman I spoke with offered me a few tips and they have helped but I have much to learn.

I am not freaked out by it. I am actually really thrilled. For so long I didn't understand why I was the way I was. I thought something was "wrong" with me. Now that I can connect all of these feelings to something, I feel more whole. I feel gifted and I want to use this gift to help others.

We all have special gifts. Perhaps some that you might keep to yourself, like I did for so many years. I'd love to hear of your gifts so that together we can acknowledge and embrace them!