what lies within us
painting on my wall by andrea scher, canon digital rebel xt
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." ~ Emerson
I realized today that I have been struggling with the tug of war between Faith and Fear in regards to this journey I am on. I am grateful for the reminder hung on my wall, sent to me by a dear friend. Now I just need it tattooed on my body where I can see it at all times! Kidding...I think.
I know what I need to do. I need to visualize the positive outcome. I need to live as though YES I already am pregnant. I need to focus on all the other aspects of me...my business, my art, my writing, my relationships. I need to just know that it will happen. All this comes down to having Faith.
I struggle with this because yes, the majority of the time I do all these things and yet still feel the need to protect my heart. Because time and again, I did all this to the point where I convinced myself I was indeed pregnant in that moment and to find out I wasn't, felt like a true loss. That is where the Fear comes in. I am afraid to feel that loss again.
Although I am still caught up in the middle of the tug of war between the two, I can feel the pull towards Faith getting stronger. The more I lean towards Faith, I am learning ways to release the Fear. I still give myself permission to feel whatever it is I feel in the moment so that I can move through those emotions, rather than tuck them away so that they can resurface later.
I am learning what lies within me is quite strong and steadfast because I am not a quitter. In the tug of war, in my mind, I am definitely on Faith's side.
This week, let's search deep into what lies within us and get behind me on this rope. With our feet dug firmly into the ground and our hands tightly wound...you better believe that Faith is going to win!
ps. I am going to Canada for a week to be with the hubs family. Will see you next Wednesday!