Sunday Scribblings ~ Monster
spirit, canon digital rebel xt
I was going to start by sharing my fear of darkness being the monster in my life. That I need to keep little lights on throughout the house for when I get up in the middle of the night. I find myself walking quickly from room to room, from darkness into light in a bit of a panic. Although, I reflected more deeply and found that it isn't really the darkness that frightens me but the spirits that lurk there.
I believe in a spirit world. I have since I was a child. I had been sick with a flu for a while and one morning I walked out into the kitchen to where my mother was. She said I looked healthy and told her that the angel that visited me the night before told me I was going to be well. I said it as though it was completely normal. Well, to me...it was.
Being an empath, I feel evil spirits as well..not just the healing and loving ones. But the ones that leave a cold chill brushing up against my skin as they pass.
Since this world is so real to me, I have a very difficult time watching thrillers and scary films. After watching Silence of the Lambs, I made my husband drive me around downtown in the middle of the night with the windows open because I couldn't sleep. I kept looking at my husband like he was going to eat me for breakfast with fava beans. It's ridiculous how much it effects me and that is why I choose not to go there.
I am sure a huge imagination adds to all of this.
I never feel like these spirits are going to hurt me. I feel protected by God, by our Universe. It is just the fact that I can sense them that is a bit frightening, where as others are completely oblivious. I wonder if they are trying to tell me something. If I have been chosen as a messenger for them to someone who is living.
I don't talk very much about this. In fact...hardly at all.
So perhaps that is why I used this Sunday Scribblings "monster" prompt as an excuse to share with others that the spirit world is a part of my life. Not quite as dramatic as in films, of course...but existing, nonetheless.
I am choosing to concentrate on the good ones. The angels that protect me. The ones that sing me to sleep and brush my hair when I am crying. I will leave it to them to fight off the others.