ready for the messy

pastel on paper, by boho

I reconnected with my pastels today. I have been so focused on my jewelry and the organizational bits of getting my store open that I have neglected my messy chalk companions. Today I set up a space downstairs near our window up top our breakfast nook. I am not neat with these marvelous sticks of pigment. I allow them to lay stacked on one another inside a box for days.

I poured them out and moved them along the surface of the table with my fingers. I smelled them. I felt my heart swell. I prepared a space for me to lose myself tomorrow. Candles will be lit. Music will be my company. Inspiration will be my guide.

I've been so consumed with my fertility journey this past year. I've been so incredibly focused on getting my new website up and running and solidifying the products I want launched in the beginning. I haven't felt that yearning to just stop all the noise around me and create for no other reason but to just create. That passionate abandon to get messy and spill. I have felt a bit blocked in some ways.

Well, something shifted today. I spilled my emotions, my fears, my vulnerable bits with a dear friend. We collectively helped peel away those layers that were causing some blocks and inspired one another. I feel a lightness, a peace. Images are swooning around me. My fingers are ready to be smothered in colors and make them come to life.

I am open and ready for the messy.