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Thursday, November 9

seattle sweeties


my girls walking the streets of Seattle,
canon digital rebel xt

It's quiet this morning. It is dark. The flicker of candlelight dances on my screen. I sip my raspberry leaf tea but it is not Susannah's redbush earl grey. Where is the scent of Letha's incense? It feels quiet here. I am alone in my studio again. I imagine one of you will come up from behind and wrap your arms around me, laying your head on my shoulder...pulling me towards the kitchen to break some morning bread together. Where is your laughter? Your morning giggles into your hot drinks steaming up into your tired eyes? I feel Thea's forehead on mine..."good morning beautiful". I feel Letha's kiss on my cheek handing me a thick, large mug. I hear Michelle's soft southern lilt soothing me. I feel Susannah's shoulder rub against mine as I lean into her. I see Meg peeking around the corner. I hear Liz's musical chant drawing us from our separate dreamlands into one another. Where are you all at this moment? Are you surrounded by our pockets of memories, some so deep, some light, some floating in between, pulling us together into a warm group hug? I cannot even count the number of group hugs where my head rested in between all of your bosoms. I felt enveloped. Safe in the cocoon of all of you. Where are you now? I wish you all to come through my front door, running up the steps to my studio, gently grabbing me and all of us tumbling to the floor in hugs, limbs intertwined, giggles and tears. I sit here alone trying to digest all that transpired between us. It is overwhelming to feel so fully accepted. Liz sharing your yoga practice. Us laying on our mats shoulder to shoulder. Your voice chanting, the bell chiming. Teaching us to open our heart chakra. Guiding us into the unknown of sharing the remainder of our stay. But you still all allowed me to be guarded. Me sitting quietly on the couch trying to put my tears into words, while Meg, you sit below me on the ground draping your arms around me with your head on my lap. I felt safe with you. Your beautiful blue doe eyes searching mine up above. They always heard me. Our unspoken glances. That burning in our bellies. You and I are empathic soul sisters. Your joy kept us all in balance. Michelle your soft quiet spirit speaks volumes. I feel centered just sitting near you. Your eyes locking onto mine provide me with a peace. I hear you. I witness the transformation and am dancing along with her. That woman that came through. She made our hearts beat faster and I wanted to shout and sing. She will always ground us. Letha opening your home and creating such a safe and warm place for us all to spill freely and wildly. You were in it with us. Forgetting the mess in the kitchen and nurturing the mess in our hearts. Our hearts were a priority over your home. We saw this. Our childhood friendship strengthened. You pulled us in deeper, allowing us to see and love more of you. All of you...pulled us in deeper. I saw that hurt child in you break through and allow herself to be fully loved and adored by all of us. She's extraordinary. Thea holding my hand as we walk down the stairs and plop on the bed. Holding me close as I spill some anxiety and fear. Your words helping me dive down deep to find my strength and feel centered. You helped me peel. You peeled. You helped all of us peel and find our strength. You have a gift to help us sort out confusion and fall into a harmonious place. You helped all of us find our inner beauty because yours is so solid. So yummy and warm. Susannah wrapping your limbs around me when I broke. Holding me until my body softened as I released. I held it in the whole time. Strong Denise not thinking about her infertility. But then it poured out and you held me all together, rocking me with your limbs tight around me until I felt safe again. Nuzzling your nose into my neck and rocking me. You a blanket of peace. Your soft, strong, calm, beautiful self. Even in your grief your heart is so deep to love me, to love us. Letha listening and stroking my legs. My tears flowing from her eyes. A girlfriend sandwich. These are just a few memories that are surrounding me. The rest will follow but these are enveloping me at this present moment as I sit here. My heart beats faster. I am stripped naked in spirit and feel stronger. The deeper me. The more wild me. The softer me. The balanced me. The creative me. You helped me pull her out and now she is singing and dancing to Madonna...

26 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so, so, so delighted for you that you had such an amazing weekend. A little jealous, too, as there are so many of you that I would love to meet! But so happy that this experience was so incredible.

And selfishly, SO GLAD YOU'RE HOME! You've been missed!

XO, lovely one.

November 10, 2006 at 8:27:00 AM PST  
Blogger Georgia said...

A girlfriend sandwich... That was PERFECT!!! I love how beautifully you put it into words. Just reading it gives the sense of *almost* being there. :)

I love that you are back so I can read more of your beautiful words.

Love to you,
Georgia

November 10, 2006 at 8:57:00 AM PST  
Blogger Lucille said...

Amazing!!!

I've been peeking back at this site every day, several times a day, waiting and watching for word of how your weekend transpired. Like Amy said above, I think the rest of us will be tres jealous but at the same time happy and joyful for the sharing and friendship you all experienced together...

November 10, 2006 at 9:20:00 AM PST  
Blogger la vie en rose said...

i can't respond to this right now because i have to cry a little first...

...i'll be back...

November 10, 2006 at 9:24:00 AM PST  
Blogger megg said...

I'm with Michelle - feeling so full of tears missing you - but I can still feel that connection even across the miles. I feel you (all) around me. I'm sending you love sweetheart - yummy, bosom-y, peeking love!! xoxo

November 10, 2006 at 9:37:00 AM PST  
Blogger Susannah said...

i'm sitting here wearing my Boho Zen necklace but my arms are empty... they miss you. i want it to be 3am again and we are whispering to each other in our bunk beds..... okay, i have to go cry too... xo i love you more than can say, my little monkey

November 10, 2006 at 10:09:00 AM PST  
Blogger chest of drawers said...

I am speechless.

November 10, 2006 at 10:20:00 AM PST  
Blogger Colorsonmymind said...

Oh delicate lovely you.

What beautiful memories-they made me smile and weep with gratitude and love and honor. You all really do complete me. I can't think of any better way to say it.

I love you from the depth of my soul.

XOXOXO

November 10, 2006 at 10:33:00 AM PST  
Blogger Amy said...

Pretty girl, I am so sad that I didn't attend. Tears...

November 10, 2006 at 11:24:00 AM PST  
Blogger The Whole Self said...

perfect

you guys are all gifts
xo

November 10, 2006 at 12:07:00 PM PST  
Blogger blackdaisies said...

how absolutely wonderful for all of you ~ it is somehow encouraging to know that these sort of gifts of beauty and care exist .. you are wonderfully inspirational ...

: )

November 10, 2006 at 2:13:00 PM PST  
Blogger b/sistersshoes said...

Sis ~*~

You have such an amazing way with words, such expressivness and love for this precious memory. You sound filled up and overflowing.
I am sure that each one of them experienced your deni magic and will have all gone back home with your name etched in their hearts :D

I'm so glad you are home safely and probably in your hubby's yummy arms ;)

love you sugar buns,
xoxoxox Dar

November 10, 2006 at 2:14:00 PM PST  
Anonymous ceanandjen said...

Sweet D, your description is other-worldly and touches my heart. Clearly, this weekend was pure magic for each and every one of you, and it shows thought the heart felt descriptions that each of you have been kind enough to share with us. We are all better for knowing that these connections do indeed exist, and that through their existance, we can become better versions of ourselves.

Welcome back, you have been missed.

xoxoxo-J

November 10, 2006 at 3:12:00 PM PST  
Blogger Letha Sandison said...

Den, I miss you so much it hurts!! I just sat and read everyone’s posts from the weekend, perhaps I should have spaced them out!! Now I am sitting here, drinking one of the few remaining redbush tea bags, smelling the lit candles and incense and thinking my soul sisters need to be here with me and feeling the tears stain my cheeks.

You have expressed our time with such beauty, in a way that only you could!! You are the heart of us I think. I love you more than I can say and am feeling a tiny bit pissed off at the Universe that we are all so far away!!

I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to spend such quality time with you. It had been too many years my dear, too many! I think you are radiant with beauty both within and without and really seem to be part angel my dear!!!

I am so glad that I get to see you again soon, otherwise I might have a real break down!!

Love you madly!!

XOXOXOXO

November 10, 2006 at 3:39:00 PM PST  
Blogger Deb R said...

The magic of your time together comes through in every word of this post. (And the photo is lovely!)

November 10, 2006 at 8:13:00 PM PST  
Blogger deirdre said...

I'm almost wordless at the beauty you all shared for the week. There's magic in this, as well as healing and friendship.

November 10, 2006 at 8:28:00 PM PST  
Blogger Goddess of Leonie said...

*happy sigh*

ahhhhh.... women.

:)

November 10, 2006 at 9:57:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good to have you back...Let's see some Glam shots huh?

November 11, 2006 at 3:46:00 AM PST  
Blogger paris parfait said...

This post is a stunning ode to the friendships and connections you cemented during your time and Seattle. Just beautiful!

November 11, 2006 at 6:10:00 AM PST  
Blogger Jane Poe (aka Deborah) said...

What a generosity of spirt that you all shared ... friendship, love, acceptance ... beautiful triad for the seven of you. If you anchor the beauty of that experience, it will be with you forever ... much peace & love, JP

November 11, 2006 at 8:07:00 AM PST  
Blogger rising to the challenge said...

What a wonderful post. A beautiful tribute to the blooming friendship you guys share... overflowing with lots of magical girl power!
Vx

November 11, 2006 at 12:51:00 PM PST  
Blogger Romina Bacci said...

Yes girl.... you certainly have such an amazing way with words and i am SOOOOOO speechless...

It always fulfills my soul when i read you and i am so happy you had this wonderful time...

Lots of love.

:)

November 11, 2006 at 1:58:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh, my goodness. how beautifully poetic this was....an invocation of wonder to the beauty that seemed to be your retreat. i'm in awe.

November 11, 2006 at 3:15:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Josie said...

You write with suck beauty and yearing that I felt like I could have been there.
I have been a long time reader of this amazing and wonderous blog.
Please, keep this up.
Peace.
josie

November 11, 2006 at 3:32:00 PM PST  
Anonymous krista said...

Boho!!! I am so glad you had that experience with your girls! That photo up there is my absolute favourite of all I've ever seen you take (and you know I love your photography)

I can feel the love right through the pixels.

November 11, 2006 at 6:19:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beautiful account Deni.
Your words work their magic.
Bx

November 12, 2006 at 2:35:00 PM PST  

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