soul clock

self portrait, canon digital rebel xt

Today I was sitting at my friend's station in her salon ready and waiting to get my hair color some fabulous shades of red. Since my hair is so fricken long and thick, it takes 3.5 hours to do, so I am thankful for the plethora of cool magazines she plops on my lap. For some reason today, on my way out of the house, I grabbed one of my favorite mag's that just came in the mail and brought it with me to the salon. I've never done this before and hardly thought twice about it. That is until I opened up the third page and saw an article about fertility. I knew right when I saw the word "FERTILITY" in huge green letters that I was supposed to read this article today.

It was written by a gynecologist who also had difficulty conceiving. She practices both Eastern & Western philosophies...so right up my alley. The article was about what she first tells her patients when they come to her. She immediately brings awareness to the importance of their emotional state throughout this process. Most of her patients that come to her have been through the ringer and are emotionally spent, frustrated, degraded and utterly confused. Pretty much where my husband and I were about the time we finally found McMiracle.

The wisdom she shared that struck me to the core was how when a couple is labeled "infertile" that this word alone adds much stress and emotional upheaval.

The Power of Words.

She first tells her patients to stop calling themselves infertile and to say instead "conceiving our child". Infertile sounds so final, so black hole, so "never" and I didn't realize the affect it has had on my husband and I until I read this.

She also tells her patients to not look at their clock as a "biological clock" but as a "soul clock". A couple starts trying to conceive when their souls tug at their hearts to create a child. Soul clocks never stop ticking.

The whole article was laced with positive energy and hopeful strategies. It was so refreshing. I thought at the end of the article, I would read how the author finally got pregnant. Instead, she shared that she adopted a boy, meant to be born in a different womb and is in every sense of the word her son. Since then, she's dedicated her whole practice to helping couples fulfill their "soul clocks", on whichever path that works best for them.

So, I was left with the reassurance that I am not infertile but conceiving our child, that my soul clock is still ticking and that I will be a mother someday, regardless of how it happens.

All this yummy encouragement and the bonus of fun reddish hair.