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Saturday, December 16

sunday scribblings {anticipation}


velouria boutique, seattle, canon digital rebel xt

Anticipation is the perfect Sunday Scribblings prompt for me today.

This morning, as I was running around my home preparing for a portrait session, I caught myself smiling and my heart swelling. The new Rosie Thomas album (thank you, Meg) was playing in my home. All of my candles and tea lights were lit. The lights were dim, the wine poured. All this with the hope to create an ambiance that would relax my model and make her feel nurtured.

My heart is so closely attached to my photography right now. I feel it pulsating with ideas, images, moods. This morning it felt as though my life and the choices I have been making were in harmony because what I was preparing for in that moment felt so very meant to be. When my head is in a space like this, I am usually flooded with images, moments that have brought or would bring joy into my life:

I remembered a moment when my sister Pamela and I were sitting on my bed in Berkeley eating grapes, cheese, chips and hummus and we were laughing so hard we were crying. I remember loving her so much in that moment that my heart could barely fit into my chest.

I imagined me snuggled up, sandwiched between my two brother in-law's during Christmas. Thinking that they feel like my real blood brothers as they've been in my life for over 15 years.

I thought of my first kiss with my husband. Him leaning up against a car in Santa Barbara and the moment before our lips touched, he told me he's dreamed of me all of his life.

I thought about eating sushi in Berkeley with my sister Darlene and sharing some of our deepest secrets over hot sake. We surprised one another that night with our stories. Reminding her and I that there is always so much to learn about someone...even when you feel you know them so intimately.

I remembered me sitting on my bedroom floor and my parents up on my bed listening to all my stories from my trip abroad when I was in my early twenties. We sat there for a few hours. I'll never forget the excitement and awe on their faces. I felt so very wrapped up in their love and admiration and that was the moment that I realized they were also my best friends.

I imagined a group hug, nuzzled in the bosoms of my tribe, my girls, my life support.

All of these images and more flooded my mind. When my model arrived, I was feeling nurtured and alive. Nurtured from the souls in my life that hold me together and keep my heart beating.

As my joy and anticipation swelled, so did my ability to nurture her.

20 Comments:

Blogger Susannah said...

you are so adorable, my love, i want to snuggle with you right now :-) i've been thinking about photography all day too.... hope the shoot went well baby xox

December 16, 2006 at 4:03:00 PM PST  
Blogger LiteraryGirl said...

You gave me goosebumps with this one...especially the part about your hubby...

December 16, 2006 at 4:24:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i know exactly what you mean. this post gave me goosebumps, denise. you are such an amazing spirit.

December 16, 2006 at 5:04:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This was so heartwarming... I miss that closeness with my sisters... sisterhood is so important for women these days.
Beautiful, really...

December 16, 2006 at 7:47:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i love it when you tell stories about you & your family. :)

December 16, 2006 at 7:49:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

such a lovely post. what your husband said...i can't wait for someone to say that to me. someday.. :)

December 17, 2006 at 5:31:00 AM PST  
Blogger Left-handed Trees... said...

Your model was a very lucky woman to have come into such a lovingly prepared space for her session...Your photography is always inspiring to me--I know so very little about this art, yet I'm exploring it just the same. Your relationships were beautifully described...and your husband's words, a wonder. This post was a gift...
--D.--

December 17, 2006 at 7:09:00 AM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh what divine anticipation darling.
So glad you are in such a beautiful space.

Your photography business is going to take off.

Love you

December 17, 2006 at 9:04:00 AM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

good luck! :)

December 17, 2006 at 10:33:00 AM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This sounds heavenly and you must tell us more about the shoot. I know there is a bit of confidentiality involved but a little tidbit would be wonderful :)

love you sis...thanks for the short walk down memory lane.....

We've had a good life...haven't we :D

love you,
xox darlene

December 17, 2006 at 10:45:00 AM PST  
Anonymous ceanandjen said...

This journey is unfolding for you so beautifully,and what sweet and calming anticipation you describe. I could not be happier for you and the success that you are experiencing. You are doing those things in life that you love most and they are bringing you pure joy.

I hope that yesterday's shoot went great, and that today's is equally as fabulous.

Love to you honey...xoxoxox

and p.s....your memories were warm and wonderful, and my heart took a little leap when you described your first kiss with Carsten and what he said to you.

December 17, 2006 at 10:58:00 AM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This made me want to come for a photo shoot and some nurturing a la Boho. Bunches of love to you today.

December 17, 2006 at 1:21:00 PM PST  
Blogger Tammy said...

Your memories make your spirit shine so brightly I needed my shades. You are a great photographer and now we can see why. HUGS

December 17, 2006 at 1:38:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My favorite post of the day! Thanks so much.

December 17, 2006 at 5:25:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

so lovely to read about your joy for your work. how refreshing to get to do what you absolutely love...you go boho girlie!!

December 17, 2006 at 7:35:00 PM PST  
Anonymous nel said...

What beautiful memories...and what a romantic first kiss.

December 18, 2006 at 1:33:00 AM PST  
Anonymous Sophie said...

Wow...these words gave me goosebumps. You nurtured me as well. xo

December 18, 2006 at 3:24:00 AM PST  
Blogger changapeluda said...

you are so effing fortunate/blessed! you don't even know...oh wait,

Yeah, you do.

:0]

December 18, 2006 at 12:24:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

that's what it's about! it's not just taking a photo...it's letting your soul come alive and in doing so, ministering to others...and that encourages them to let their soul come alive...

December 19, 2006 at 11:33:00 AM PST  
Blogger angela said...

this is beautiful... i just listened to "much farther to go" and fell in love. with a voice sweeter than honey, with a thought and a lull of the heart.

thank you for sharing. not just lovely beautiful words and thoughts, but also for sharing this music.

angela

February 1, 2007 at 3:36:00 PM PST  

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