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Thursday, December 28

Woven


Seattle boutique, canon digital rebel xt

Boho Boy and I just arrived from the long drive home. I still find myself wondering if what transpired this past week really happened or was it all a dream. When a trauma like this happens to someone you love, you suddenly feel like you are part of a dramatic film with thoughts like, "this only happens in the movies". Well...where do film writers get their ideas from? Real Life. Hello real life.

Being in the ICU every day with Mark was surreal. Time stood still. Then it flew by. Sometimes it was in slow motion. After we'd hear new news from the doctors or nurses, we'd all have to digest it amongst one another. Some of us were stronger when the other was weak and then we'd alternate. Our moods in balance. Yin and Yang. I always had my eye on my sister Darlene. I so badly wanted to protect her from her fears. To put a shield of comfort around her so that she only heard the positive.

I am tired and rejuvenated all at once. Tired from all the scary~ness, Mark's pain, the uncertainty, lack of sleep and roller coaster of emotions. Rejuvenated because I am so in love with my family and I am full of hope for Mark's recovery. I feel such monumental things are going to happen in his life as a result of this. His story has touched thousands of people all around the world and it has touched us. I see him moving mountains. I saw it in his eyes. It will just take time, hope, patience and determination. We have to help him find these things within himself.

When in the waiting room with my family, words of comfort were not always necessary. As Darlene sat there, knitting her scarf to keep her mind busy, silence was just enough. Just being with your family is enough. I never felt the pressure to say all the right things. I was hoping they could feel my quiet strength because I felt theirs.

I learned that something as serious as this knits family together like a woven scarf. As I watched Darlene move one loop into the next, I thought of our family. That we were holding one another together through this. We were holding Mark together. Each of us by his bedside were bringing him closer into us, pulling his spirit back into the circle of our family. We will continue to wrap around him and pull him through this.

We are all intricately woven and our strength in numbers will gently guide him to those mountains so he can start moving them.

22 Comments:

Anonymous nel said...

glad you are home safely and things are looking so hopeful for Mark. He will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers...Nel

December 29, 2006 at 2:11:00 AM PST  
Blogger Susannah said...

YES. this will and has changed Mark's life and i know one day he will say 'for the better'. i think the strength you and Darlene have shown has changed a lot of people's lives actually - you beauties are inspiring to us all. i love you baby xox (i'm in all weekend so i'll talk to you then :-)

December 29, 2006 at 2:56:00 AM PST  
Anonymous amy said...

your image of the connections between your family is a lovely one. it is a cosy and vibrant scarf you all weave.

i can only echo Susannah's comment about the inspiration that your family's courage has provided. i hope that Mark continues to heal well and that you all begin to sleep a little more easily.

take care,

amy

December 29, 2006 at 3:21:00 AM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope you enjoyed coming back to your lovely home, and I look forward to reading on this blog about Mark's ongoing recovery. I wrote a post for you, Darlene and Mark about the amazing things that my cousin Marc and the rest of our family have learned as a result of his journey to overcome Glioblastoma brain cancer this year. Your image of being knit together is a perfect fit.

I wish you endless blessings for 2007 - ongoing healing for Mark, and all your dreams coming true.

Thank you again for sharing your beauty and insight with us here.

December 29, 2006 at 4:20:00 AM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's amazing what trials and comforts can teach us... even in the midst of the scariest situations, if we all pull together, there is always hope. I have the greatest hope for you and your family... blessings on all, especially Darlene and Mark.

December 29, 2006 at 7:22:00 AM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beautiful. I have been thinking about you through all this...your keen sense of empathy. It sounds like you are in a good place, all things considered. Much love...xoxo

December 29, 2006 at 7:41:00 AM PST  
Blogger Bron Smith said...

I've really enjoyed spending time in your blog. I'm so glad that your nephew, Mark, is pulling through his crisis. One year ago this New Years marks the debut of my intro into the blogosphere world with my story blog, Trowbridge Chronicles. It's been great fun to watch it grow in popularity. I'll continue to follow your blog.

December 29, 2006 at 7:45:00 AM PST  
Anonymous Marilyn said...

Our destinies unfold before us in unexpected ways. I can't help but think, as odd as it sounds, that this will end up being a huge gift to Mark in unusual and unpredictable ways. I'll continue to hold good thoughts for his recovery.

December 29, 2006 at 8:12:00 AM PST  
Blogger liz elayne said...

as i read your words i imagined a woven blanket of strength and courage and love encircling all of you...and finally encircling Mark as he heals and learns and breathes and does more than he ever dreamed he could do.

i am thinking about you girl and hoping you are getting rest and continuing to send thoughts of energy and hope to all of you....and healing thoughts to Mark.

December 29, 2006 at 9:53:00 AM PST  
Blogger liz elayne said...

as i read your words i imagined a woven blanket of strength and courage and love encircling all of you...and finally encircling Mark as he heals and learns and breathes and does more than he ever dreamed he could do.

i am thinking about you girl and hoping you are getting rest and continuing to send thoughts of energy and hope to all of you....and healing thoughts to Mark.

December 29, 2006 at 9:53:00 AM PST  
Blogger dd said...

I enjoyed reading your thoughts today. I agree, he will move mountains and soar.

Your family is an inspiration to so many.

sandy

December 29, 2006 at 10:27:00 AM PST  
Blogger Lianne said...

Perfect analogy. Out of tragedy comes great peace. I promise. It will come. Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us.

December 29, 2006 at 11:29:00 AM PST  
Anonymous brianna said...

Continued prayers going out to you and your family. I love that you compared it to a scarf, because it is so true. Have a happy new year.

December 29, 2006 at 12:46:00 PM PST  
Blogger deirdre said...

Yes, this is the way it's supposed to be with a family. You are all on my mind - I know those long hours and days in hospital rooms, waiting and willing it to be better. Mark is young and strong and has a great support system. I'm so glad you were able to be with Darlene through this part of the process.

December 29, 2006 at 3:08:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your family is very blessed to have you. Your ability to maintain this perspective is the glue that holds everyone together. Thank you for such a beautiful visual description.

December 29, 2006 at 5:15:00 PM PST  
Blogger Amber said...

I think you are right. All of these words are right.
I think his life is meant to touch people, and his family will hold him up until he can hold himself up.
You are all so lucky to have one another!

:)

December 29, 2006 at 9:51:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Paris Parfait said...

Your post brought tears to my eyes - the last two paragraphs are brilliantly-written prose about the close links amongst your family. Beautiful. And yes, with strength like that, mountains can be moved. xo

December 30, 2006 at 5:23:00 AM PST  
Anonymous ceanandjen said...

Welcome home Sweet you. I agree with you (and wrote Dar something similar) about lives being changed on the other side of this event. Despite the pain and horror of all that has transpired, the love and strength that has been shown is amazing.Thank goodness that you all have each other, and that there is a closeness that lives there that means that words do not need to be said. Nothing needs to be made up. It is inherently there and present. I believe that each of you brings a different thread to this "woven" togetherness, and as such, it makes it stronger and that much more beautiful.

I hope that you are able to rest and breathe a bit in your home surroundings. You all continue to be in my heart and prayers each and every day.

Love you,
Jen
xoxoxoxoxo

December 30, 2006 at 9:20:00 AM PST  
Blogger Turquoise CRO said...

Welcome home sweet Boho and Boho boy! I'm so glad you got your Christmas wish, a smile from Mark! I wish for many more smiles! LOVE and prayers, I'll be lighting another candle in a couple hours...Take gentle care of yourselves, xooxxooxoxox, Cinda

December 30, 2006 at 1:11:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Jews have something they traditionally do called 'sitting shiva'. When one among them is hurting or grieving... their family and friends just come and sit with them. There are no cliches or platitudes... just the love of someone sitting with you. If there's anythign I've learned, or I'm learning, it's that whatever you're feeling in that moment, it's okay. It's okay, it's okay to feel numb, and for me it's like anger, shock, denial, it's all okay. Or just that feeling like you don't feel anything at all, and that's okay too. It's okay to have no answers, and no explanations, and maybe even no words.
We can't avoid our responses to things like this and think they'll go away. If we stuff it, then it's in there somewhere, and it will come out. Heck, if John 11:35 is true... and Jesus had to let it out... then we do too.
There are lots of people who are keeping Mark in thier prayers. (Psalm 71:20).
Much love,

December 30, 2006 at 1:27:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Sophie said...

Beautiful words.

xo Sophie

January 1, 2007 at 2:32:00 AM PST  
Blogger la vie en rose said...

i'm glad you're home...

January 2, 2007 at 11:04:00 AM PST  

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