into the softness

me, canon digital rebel xt

today i sat myself on my bed,
flopped my back down into the softness
and let the tears fall.
because i had to. i was tired of holding it all together.
holding that tightness within my chest,
and down in my belly aching for release.

someone told me today that it was okay to cry.
that crying doesn't mean i don't believe it will happen.
even though i am the first to tell someone to let their tears flow,
i sometimes am afraid to do it myself.
afraid that tears are always attached to lack of faith or hope.
but they're not.
they are just releasing the well within,
leaving more room for goodness.

so i laid back and i cried,
wiped my tears and
smeared them on my pretty skirt.

i watched the emotionally soaked fabric dry,
until i was ready to sit back up,
and go about my day with less fear
and more embrace.