self portrait challenge {new years resolution # 2}

self portait, canon digital rebel xt

If you ask anyone that knows me, I believe they would tell you that I have a very soft voice and a calming personality. I can say this with confidence because it is what I've been told my whole life. I even notice that when I am with someone who has high energy or who is all tied up in knots, I can feel my presence is soothing to them. So, by the looks and feel of me, people may assume that I am always just as peaceful down deep inside. But this my friends, is a struggle for me. I internalize a lot of outside noise whether it is someone else's emotions or my own. While I am quietly sitting there in a room full of people, my senses are open and sensitive to all that transpires around me. Sometimes I don't feel it right away but either minutes or a few hours later, my heart will start to race or my mind will play back all that it has heard. I then begin to analyze or I find myself feeling worry for others or myself. It is rare that my mind is as quiet and clear as it appears to others (or even myself).

I recall my mother and sister's telling me when I was young that I was a "worry wart". I wish we could have called it a "worry flower" but it was worry that consumed me, nonetheless.

During my first appointment with my acupuncturist last year, she asked to look at my tongue. She then asked me if I tend to worry. I looked stunned, I am sure. She then proceeded to explain that if someone has small grooves lining the outside of the tongue, it is from grinding it with their teeth when worrying about something. So, I guess that means I have a groovy tongue? Ummm...not so much.

Needless to say, it is crucial for me to calm my mind. I absolutely love yoga and benefit so much from it but for some reason, I continue to put it off during my busy weeks. This year, I am going to make an effort to go to at least a few classes per week, if not more. When I am practicing yoga on a regular basis, not only does my body feel tighter and more fit but my spirit and moods are balanced.

I also have these marvelous meditation CD's called "meditations for a fertile soul". There are meditations for each part of a woman's cycle. The voice is so soothing and it always brings my soul to a much more calming place.

There is a part in one of the meditations where I am asked to imagine myself completely at peace and fulfilled in my life. It then asks what am I doing in my life that creates this peace and balance? I immediately see myself going to yoga, following the blood type diet strictly, walking on the beach, meditating, creating. See...when we are asked this question, truly, deep down, we already know the answer to what we need.

I want to open up this discussion for some wisdom from you. What do you do to help calm your mind? How do you meditate? Where do you meditate? Do you have any advice for a calm, peaceful person that tends to worry and analyze too much down deep within?

I also am encouraging you to ask yourself the same question when you are lying down before bedtime or when you wake up in the morning. When you imagine yourself feeling at peace and balanced, what is it that you see yourself doing in your life to create these feelings?

Find other resolutions here.

ps. here is a link to other cool meditation CD's if you are interested.