Self Portrait Challenge {New Years Resolution}

me, taken by boho boy (click for larger view), canon digital rebel xt

One of my New Years Resolutions is to rediscover my sexuality. I know I have shared before on my blog about the challenges of feeling sexy while going through our fertility journey. We are going on almost two and a half years now of timing our intercourse, while trying to pretend we are being spontaneous. Does this make me feel sexy? Ummm...not so much.

I mean, this past month, there was a little magnet taped to my forearm (on a fertility acupressure point) that I had to rub before and after sex. This is one of MANY things we've had to do to enhance our chances. I try not to think too deeply into how ridiculous it can all be because the thing is...I believe in everything our doctor tells us to do. But in retrospect, I always end up giggling at what the fly on the wall must be thinking.

I take a handful of herbs and supplements three times a day. Every morning I pee in a cup and put the little pee stick inside of it, then place it into our fertility monitor which tells me my hormone levels for that particular day. So basically, a computer is telling me when to have sex! I have fertility necklaces, fertility goddesses and crystals adorning my neck and laying in my feng shui "family" corner. I am on a special blood type diet. We found out that my uterus is allergic to my husband's saliva, so no special hanky pankies down under. All this and I am supposed to relax and not think about conceiving while we're in the throws of passion?!?

Yah, right.

Don't get me wrong. I love love love being intimate with my husband. Well...because he's pretty much hot but HE isn't the issue here. The issue is me feeling like a little sex kitten when I have all these *helpful hints to conceive* on my mind.

This is all shared in fun. I am smiling as I write this. This journey has been wild. I hope to write a book about it some day that will put my readers at ease by adding the humor of it all. One of the chapters in my book will be how to "maintain your sexy". Over the next few months I am going to try to figure this out. I mean, my husband thinks I look sexy with snot coming out of my nose (bless his heart) but it is ME that needs to feel sexy about myself while letting go of the not so sexy fertility stuff.

Enough said. Time for my supplements...

Find other new years resolutions here.