Monday, January 1

Self Portrait Challenge {New Years Resolution}

me, taken by boho boy (click for larger view), canon digital rebel xt

One of my New Years Resolutions is to rediscover my sexuality. I know I have shared before on my blog about the challenges of feeling sexy while going through our fertility journey. We are going on almost two and a half years now of timing our intercourse, while trying to pretend we are being spontaneous. Does this make me feel sexy? Ummm...not so much.

I mean, this past month, there was a little magnet taped to my forearm (on a fertility acupressure point) that I had to rub before and after sex. This is one of MANY things we've had to do to enhance our chances. I try not to think too deeply into how ridiculous it can all be because the thing is...I believe in everything our doctor tells us to do. But in retrospect, I always end up giggling at what the fly on the wall must be thinking.

I take a handful of herbs and supplements three times a day. Every morning I pee in a cup and put the little pee stick inside of it, then place it into our fertility monitor which tells me my hormone levels for that particular day. So basically, a computer is telling me when to have sex! I have fertility necklaces, fertility goddesses and crystals adorning my neck and laying in my feng shui "family" corner. I am on a special blood type diet. We found out that my uterus is allergic to my husband's saliva, so no special hanky pankies down under. All this and I am supposed to relax and not think about conceiving while we're in the throws of passion?!?

Yah, right.

Don't get me wrong. I love love love being intimate with my husband. Well...because he's pretty much hot but HE isn't the issue here. The issue is me feeling like a little sex kitten when I have all these *helpful hints to conceive* on my mind.

This is all shared in fun. I am smiling as I write this. This journey has been wild. I hope to write a book about it some day that will put my readers at ease by adding the humor of it all. One of the chapters in my book will be how to "maintain your sexy". Over the next few months I am going to try to figure this out. I mean, my husband thinks I look sexy with snot coming out of my nose (bless his heart) but it is ME that needs to feel sexy about myself while letting go of the not so sexy fertility stuff.

Enough said. Time for my supplements...

Find other new years resolutions here.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This was like reading my own life 5 years ago ( as you know).

The other challenge that you will find is that once you do conceive, then sex after the baby is different as you will no longer be having sex to conceive. It's weird to get back into newlywed mindset again!

I feel for you, as a fellow "allergic to husbands saliva" girl.. it's tough going but you are doing all the right things!

I wish you well! and so does our little infertility baby.. Camille :)

January 1, 2007 at 10:59:00 AM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Missed reading you so much friend!!!


January 1, 2007 at 11:15:00 AM PST  
Blogger meghan said...

Hey sweetie!

I just ordered prints of our weekend from the photo website! I sat there looking through the pics and remembered again how much I love, respect, and cherish you (y'all!) Know that I am always thinking about and sending you good vibes. I'm glad you are finding the joy and the silly in life (but my condolences on the saliva thing... ;)

January 1, 2007 at 11:20:00 AM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are bringing sexy back! ; )

January 1, 2007 at 11:45:00 AM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If their is anyone who can pull off sexy, no matter what, it's YOU!

You are just HOOOOOOT Tsssssssssss in this picture, baby ;^0 *whistle*

xox dar

January 1, 2007 at 1:19:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had no idea a woman could by allergic to saliva. That sucks. :(

I will add you to my thoughts, some good healing, err... conceiving thoughts. ;)

Good luck, think sexy, be sexy.

January 1, 2007 at 3:47:00 PM PST  
Blogger Alex S said...

I'm catching up on your posts of the past week and wishing you a very healthy, sexy, healing, and fulfilling New Year! This time next year I hope you and your sister will be in a perpetual state of marvel at how far Mark has come. Blessings to you!

January 1, 2007 at 4:12:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

it's hard to maintain your sexy even without all of the added fertility fun.
here's to a sexy '07!
- meegan

January 1, 2007 at 4:52:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yikes, I know how hard it is to feel sexy without worrying about rubbing some magnet.

I have no worries that you'll find ways to bring out the sexy, hot stuff.

Lots of love and sexiness to you!

P.S. BOO HOO to no saliva. That sucks!

January 1, 2007 at 5:04:00 PM PST  
Blogger sandy said...

I wish you a happy and healthy and fertile New year...

January 1, 2007 at 6:07:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love your openess about this... there are so many things that can make a woman feel not so sexy just normally, but with all this going on... wow. I think your humor and ease about this situation can only be a positive thing...
Here's to fertility!

January 1, 2007 at 6:37:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

woot woot, get your she-BANG on woman!

get your venus hottie on and shake it down :)

thank you for sharing so honestly~!

in love and light,

January 2, 2007 at 12:32:00 AM PST  
Blogger Unknown said...

hubba hubs. I can't imagine that you don't feel sexy.

I love how honest you are. I don't know how to do that...


January 2, 2007 at 6:00:00 AM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh darlin, you are oh so sexy. I wish you the best with your journey, even if it is somewhat hilarious at times.

~ Meridith

January 2, 2007 at 8:39:00 AM PST  
Blogger Deb R said...

You look like you're pulling off your goal admirably. You look gorgeous!

January 2, 2007 at 10:26:00 AM PST  
Blogger la vie en rose said...

girl i'm not even having to deal with all the extras you are but i'm right there with you. motherhood can suck the sexy right out of you too and i'm on a quest to regain my sexy as well...

here's to being sexy...


January 2, 2007 at 10:58:00 AM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This entire post has underscored all of the things that have made me promise to myself that I would NEVER want to try too hard to have a baby--I would be afraid of all of these things!

However, I believe if anyone can maintain their sexy while trying to have a baby it's you--you're already working on the novel! I'm relying on you...for your future, and mine if I ever decide to have a baby.

January 2, 2007 at 12:35:00 PM PST  
Blogger Maryam in Marrakesh said...

This is my first time on your blog, and I feel like I am tip toeing in on something private. But if I could ask you, please, if you do find the sexy secret, could you please share it with me? My husband would be so very happy...;-)

January 2, 2007 at 2:28:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love this. Funny in an understated way. May 2007 be "the year" for you. I think it will.


January 2, 2007 at 5:21:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It can be such a hard road, we struggled for five years (very different struggle but lots of issues with the sexy) but y'know everyday I'm so glad we kept on keeping on. Even when it felt a bit timed or weird. And I think too that if love is there, the sexy comes back, different maybe but still there.

Wishing you all the best on your journey this year! Hoping that this is the year for you both...

January 2, 2007 at 7:39:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i can totally relate to this entire post.
we tried for two years.
"i feel so used" my husband would jokingly say.
it is hard when everything is timed.
keep the faith.
and maybe some new stiletto heels would help too.

your book idea is great, too. it would help a lot of people get through a tough time!

happy new year!

January 2, 2007 at 7:55:00 PM PST  
Blogger LeS said...

You ARE a gorgeous, goddess, sexy creature for sure but I do think you have hit on the most important part - keep with the funny :) It is the vitality of life.

You are a brave and beautiful soul. May this year bring you the baby you long for :)

January 2, 2007 at 7:58:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beautiful you. Find the peace that you need and I believe that you will get your sexy back. It is inherent to you...runny nose and all. You are a graceful, gorgeous woman with a heart of gold.

love to you

January 2, 2007 at 9:08:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey darling,

I hear you-I really do-three years to have our son-and it is exhausting and sort of like a tug of war with sexy.

I think you are doing such a beautiful job-you are definitely sexy on the outside (awsome photo!) and the inside-well by setting your mind to it-I know that will come along too.

Love you baby

January 3, 2007 at 5:28:00 AM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

good luck to you. i will think mad baby and sexy thoughts for you in 2007.

January 3, 2007 at 9:51:00 AM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, do write a book about your experience. Your writing is brilliant in it's simplicity; it's ease of conveying a complicated subject.

January 3, 2007 at 10:46:00 AM PST  
Blogger Tammy Brierly said...

We all need to keep "our sexy" close. Thanks for the reminder :)

January 3, 2007 at 3:08:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are so cute! Thanks for making me smile today.

P.S. This is the first time in ages that blogger has let me comment- I tried to comment on your posts about Mark SO many times and for some reason it wouldn't let me! Just wanted you to know that Mark, you, and your family have been in my thoughts and prayers so much over the holidays.

January 3, 2007 at 3:24:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a beautiful portrait... Well you look sexy.

Good luck and have fun bringin' sexy back.

January 3, 2007 at 7:06:00 PM PST  
Blogger madd said...

well if anyone can do it..you can besides laughter + sex = sexy..m

January 3, 2007 at 7:22:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi sexy mama boho,
you need to take a trip over to my dearest friend julie's blog: www.whatsyourpleasure.blogspot.com

she is a sex therapist in training, but not THAT kind of sex therapist. she is very sexy and discovered her sexual self not too long ago. that poor woman did not have an orgasm until she was almost 30!

she is where the other three of us in our old planet sark succulent wild women's l.a. group go for toys, inspiration etc. she is very sensitive to the individual and i'm sure would be HAPPY to talk to you!

love love and best wishes for your sacred minky,


January 3, 2007 at 10:36:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wishing you all the best in 2007! If you think that feeling sexy is hard now, wait until you have babies! I´m sure your beautiful love will weather these storms.

January 4, 2007 at 12:09:00 AM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i have to read your book. love the maintaining your sexy bit! did you cut your hair? it looks shorter.

January 4, 2007 at 10:27:00 AM PST  
Blogger Dana said...

What a great post! I think it's natural to go in and out of sexy. It's good you find humor in it. Best wishes to you.

January 5, 2007 at 3:18:00 AM PST  
Blogger JC said...

Good luck with bringing the sexy back. At least it should be fun to try, no?

January 5, 2007 at 12:14:00 PM PST  
Blogger Gena said...

Hello... I feel like a bit of an intruder here! I found you through Darlenes blog, I just want to say to you;I have two children 10 years apart, I thought I could not have another baby, they couldnt find out why, I was on the waiting list for fertility treatment( my appointment was a week away) and I discovered I was pregnant, I know how you feel, I know that sinking feeling of dissapointment when your period arrives, but the best piece of advice i can offer you, is to believe that it is going to happen, but dont wait for it, at the point when i fell pregnant, i was thinking "ok,whenever! but in the meantime i will do this and that..." I had let go.I hope you dont mind me commenting, I really think you are going to be celebrating soon!

January 20, 2007 at 8:40:00 AM PST  

Post a Comment

<< Home