Monday, March 12

baby mojo

this weekend's family portrait session,
boho photography

Last night, while still dressed up from our night out, I was picking up the kitchen while my husband wrapped his arms around me from behind. He kissed my neck and said..."you're so yummy". He then stepped back and said, "I don't know why but you really look like a mother right now". Some women may have rolled their eyes at that compliment or perhaps not taken it as a compliment at all but I found myself feeling extremely beautiful and sexy when hearing that.

This fertility journey does wonders on a woman's self esteem and/or self worth as the most basic function for us is not working "properly". They are all lies of course but it messes with us, nonetheless. With everything else I have questioned, I have also wondered at times whether or not my husband can even see me as a mother at all after what we've been through. So, needless to say it felt wonderful to hear him say that.

I had a family portrait session with twin boys this weekend. I wondered how I would feel in their presence. I wondered if it would bring up all these sad emotions. On the contrary, it did the opposite. It was pure joy being around them and all the baby mojo they were giving to me. I loved the smell of their skin. I left feeling even more confident that this is a path, among all the other paths in my life I have chosen, that feels so right to me.


Blogger Sauntering Soul said...

This is such a sweet post. And that baby is beautiful. I don't comment here often, but I have followed your journey thus far. I'll keep you in my prayers.

March 12, 2007 at 10:50:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Susannah Conway said...

i imagine the baby mojo pheromones were dancing around you in that moment :-) this photo is absolutely adorable - can't wait to see more xxoo

March 12, 2007 at 11:04:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Magicaldamselfly said...

I don't comment here often enough either but I check in everyday to see how your are doing. So I will go ahead and say this, when it is time for baby boho to enter your world and journey with you it will happen and in the mean time enjoy being a woman and a wife. God will present you with a baby boho when it is time for you to become a mother and you can not force that timing. However you can perhaps help it along and entertain your husband at the same time. So for all who don't want to read more please fast forward, after you and hubby make love flip yourself up onto the wall in a headstand/shoulder stand sorta fashion and let all those swimmers flow with the gravity,,,teehee,,,never ever hop up and stand as gravity will do what it does best and your swimmers will swim the wrong direction. I am sure you've heard all this many times but one never knows what might prompt a bit of magic.


March 12, 2007 at 12:50:00 PM PDT  
Blogger la vie en rose said...

i can see it too...definitely mama material...

March 12, 2007 at 1:12:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Kristine said...

Beautiful pic!
You are truly incredible and I know you will one day hold your own little baby boho. Then the three of you will probably be there in the kitchen - his hands around you and your hands around a little one- one sweet family.

March 12, 2007 at 1:14:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Wanda said...

What a precious baby. I want to hold it in my arms, and feel that soft pink skin. My grandchildren are older now, and sometimes I long to hold a newborn.
You are precious too, and have the heart of a mother.
Prayers and blessing!

March 12, 2007 at 1:24:00 PM PDT  
Blogger the brady girls said...

even tho there are no poopy pants or midnite feedings... yet, u are already an amazing mommy! & a beautiful soul!!! xoxo

March 12, 2007 at 1:25:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think that's one of the sweetest, sexiest things a husband could say - and I know how much it means you both. You will be a simply divine, earth goddess of a mama - I know those twins sprinkled some magic dust with their twin booties. :)

March 12, 2007 at 1:32:00 PM PDT  
Blogger LiteraryGirl said...

Clearly, based on your posts, you already have the heart of a mother.

March 12, 2007 at 2:26:00 PM PDT  
Blogger daisies said...

beautiful photo, eyes like lights ... i have to admit my heart hurt a little hearing twin boys, but then i smiled and wondered at their miracle and my heart warmed ...

there is a baby boho out there pickin you as his mama for sure!

March 12, 2007 at 3:29:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a gorgeous photo. Babies are like magic the way they can lift your mood. When they start smiling - watch out! And those belly laughs are just to die for. You take wonderful photos that capture presence. I'm glad you got some baby mojo and that hubby of yours is wonderful!


March 12, 2007 at 3:51:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

..to beautiful for words....touchingly honest. My heart skipped a beat...when I thought, maybe? I'm chanelling good thoughts for a couple that WILL be blessed.
steph b

March 12, 2007 at 4:53:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What beautiful words from your husband...

And what a beautiful photo!

March 12, 2007 at 9:13:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

such a beautiful post and precious words from your husband...glad the photo shoot was fun!

March 12, 2007 at 10:41:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Mallory Matson said...

wow, you are truely amazing. your photography and style and writing.. just ah i love it all :) you inspire me <3

March 13, 2007 at 2:31:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Colorsonmymind said...

Hmmm that brought happy tears to my eyes.

It sounds like a powerful photo shoot. This pic is terrific. I can't wait to see the rest:)

Love you darling

toe to toe

March 13, 2007 at 4:51:00 AM PDT  
Blogger nina beana said...

holy inspiration, boho! you and your man inspire me a thousand times over.

March 13, 2007 at 7:00:00 AM PDT  
Blogger gkgirl said...

what a sweetie,
both the baby
and the husband...


March 13, 2007 at 7:42:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Unknown said...

holy adorableness. want. to. squeeze. need. to. kiss.

March 13, 2007 at 8:11:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

can't wait to see your baby -- i can feel that little soul moving closer, but dang! she's taking her own sweet time...maybe a headstand or two couldn't hurt ;) it worked in the movie antonia's line...

March 13, 2007 at 11:05:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Darlene said...

Den ~*~

This brought very touching proud tears to my eyes. I just don't even know how to express, how very proud I am of you and how lucky I feel to be your sister, share the same blood and history and I miss you terrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And it you looked like a 'mother' to C...I bet it was a hot mama ;0

love you to piecies

March 13, 2007 at 11:22:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Beaman said...

Your site design is wonderful. Simple yet striking. Especially the header. Sorry, I didn't read this post but just wanted to comment about the look. :)

March 13, 2007 at 1:19:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm glad to hear that you found comfort in your husband's sweet words and that you were able to bask in some baby energy. I remember the lightness I felt when I was finally able to open myself up to that warmth - I felt such a sense of renewed possibilitiy. I can absolutely relate to what you wrote about what this journey does to our definitions of ourselves and what it means to be a woman.

March 13, 2007 at 6:42:00 PM PDT  
Blogger ::Bek Geach:: said...

You are in such a good space.
I am sure the baby mojo will happen for you soon sweets.

(hugs) and love

March 13, 2007 at 9:11:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Letha Sandison said...

Den, this photo is great!!! You are SOOOOO talented my dear friend.

I know your baby is on it's way!!


March 14, 2007 at 10:46:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beautiful on so many levels sweet you. You have such an incredible heart and just so much wonderfulness to share with that boho baby; you will make the most divine mother.

I am so happy that the photo shoot brought out the "mojo"


March 20, 2007 at 3:18:00 PM PDT  

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