Sunday, March 25

transformation waves

self portrait, canon digital rebel xt

I seem to keep going back to this paragraph in the current book I'm reading:

"I look at the Augusteum, and I think that perhaps my life has not actually been so chaotic, after all. It is merely this world that is chaotic, bringing changes to us all that nobody could have anticipated. The Augusteum warns me not to get attached to any obsolete ideas about who I am, what I represent, whom I belong to, or what function I may once have intended to serve. Yesterday I might have been a glorious monument to somebody, true enough - but tomorrow I could be a fireworks depository. Even in the Eternal City, says the silent Augusteum, one must always be prepared for riotous and endless waves of transformation."

~ Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love

I am a few chapters ahead but I've dog eared this particular page. When I am about to go to sleep, I come back to this paragraph...again and again. This is one of the many things this journey to conceive has taught us about so many other aspects of our lives. My husband and I cannot get attached to any one outcome of this journey. We just have to go day by day, moment by moment, with no expectations. We choose to remain open to the lessons from the pain, the change, the transformations that come with it all.

I can see the wisdom of these lessons spilling over into our marriage, our relationships, our creativity and careers. These endless waves of transformation are helping who we are, what we do and what we represent to be constantly evolving. Not only with the idea of how our baby will come into our lives but with everything, really.

These "transformation waves" are for us, not against us but sometimes it is difficult to see this when you feel like you're drowning. We have the power to lift our heads up out of the water and coast the waves. We really do. We just need to be open to change and the idea that our lives may not always turn out the way we expect it to. Unpredictable. Just like the ocean.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This post leaves me thinking as in this past week, things occured I never expected. Or at least not expected to happen so soon. I might stop by the American book center on my way to work to see if they sell this book :)

Love to you,

XO Sophie

March 26, 2007 at 12:10:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This book resonated so much with me. The beauty of this journey for you and your husband it seems, is how clearly you see what's important to you two as a couple and as individuals. By not being attached to one particular outcome, your dreams will come true. xo

March 26, 2007 at 4:38:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a beautiful perspective!

March 26, 2007 at 4:45:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"We have the power to lift our heads up out of the water and coast the waves. We really do. We just need to be open to change and the idea that our lives may not always turn out the way we expect it to. Unpredictable. Just like the ocean."

... love these words so much. very very true. it's something we're constantly learning, over and over.

March 26, 2007 at 4:57:00 AM PDT  
Blogger bee said...

that passage was the exact one that resonated the most for me at the time...and i forgot about it until you reminded me...thank you, sweetie. have a wonderful day.

March 26, 2007 at 8:35:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Transformation waves"....oh that describes it all so perfectly, doesn't it? You sound at peace beautiful friend.

And no, life does not always turn out how we expect it to; actually, it never does. I have always said that things happen for a reason because so many times there seems no other explanation other than that the universe has plans for us.

Things do; however, happen in the time that they are supposed to. I envision you gently riding these waves and it is a beautiful vision.

Love you.

March 26, 2007 at 12:28:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those lines are giving me some faith in a tough time. Thank you! At all, I love your blog!

March 26, 2007 at 1:12:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Lianne said...

Finished the book this weekend in a deliberately spiritual silence. I loved her picture of this place that had been through so many iterations of being.

I think we need to know what we want out of our lives, but to not get married to the picture of how it is going to turn out. God is the best illustrator and photographer, let Him be responsible for the picture.

March 26, 2007 at 1:50:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Stacy said...

Are you ever reading my mind right now. This weekend, after a series of events, my thoughts returned to not being attached to outcomes and brought me a lot of peace. I will be posting about it soon... you are gaining some valuable lessons this week my wise and beautiful friend. Life is always about the journey and not the destination.

love you,

March 26, 2007 at 5:55:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Regina said...

This was so lovely- and so apropos. The allowance that we give ourselves to be open to whatever life hands us is what makes things easier to handle- if we would only stop trying to fight things so much and allow, I think we would see our lives change dramatically for the better...
Just beautiful, boho girl...

March 26, 2007 at 6:14:00 PM PDT  
Blogger madelyn said...

profoundly true -
i have found this as well in my life -
i "let go" even when terribly hurt and
immersed in pain -
and eventually - i "see"
after my first abrupt realization of pain in life-
and later my wisdom and heart's understanding-
i am able to let go - and trust the universe
is helping unfold in life the best way for my spiirt
- a bit like the tides - when it is "out"

a beautiful gift is on it's way in...

lovely paragraph you chose - i have this book as
well after reading about it on Jessie's site -
i have a collection of prayer beads -
and ofen choose a meditation in prayer based
around this quote -


March 26, 2007 at 6:31:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Wanda said...

~transformation waves~ So true! I experience one this morning with a phone call, that wave is taking me in another direction. I think it's called the ocean of life!

March 26, 2007 at 7:37:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am really loving this book right now too!! Full of great inspiration and insight.


March 26, 2007 at 9:02:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Left-handed Trees... said...

I love the idea of transformation waves, since this truly is how change and growth seem to come. It resonates even more since I'm reading this along with your last post (I've been deliberately out of the Internet-world a little bit)--when you felt the comfort and peace in the waves at the pier. These are wise words--yours and Gilbert's.

March 27, 2007 at 7:18:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Emily said...

thank you for this post.. this has been a realy trying time for me- i am a recovering drug addict and my long term boyfriend is as well. for the past month he has been sniffing heroin behind my back. i just found this out... ive been trying to find moments in each day to not cry, to be normal, to be ok, to eat, to try to sleep... it is so hard. this is the first time i have been online since i found out (i am usually an obsessive blog checker) and i read this post and just want to cry... youre so dead on. In Narcotics Anonymous they say "Just for today" and to trust in a higher power, to turn things over to god because he will take care of them better than we ever could.. and i read this post and realized the whole world is like that - everyone has pain and sadness and greif... and every one of us in these painful places has to live a day at a time, a minute at a time, or where i am right now- a second at a time... You have reminded me that i need to be firm in myself, in my recovery and my life... I fear for his life but i cant let that turn into fear for my own life. i hope this makes sense but i just wanted to say thank you--- thank you for sharing your journey!

March 27, 2007 at 8:10:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This was so wise, my friend. You can't control it all - just go with it, enjoy it, appreciate it - and accept... and I still believe. Things will happen for you - you just don't get to pick when.

March 27, 2007 at 9:41:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're so wise - that you can see these things and appreciate them is remarkable.


March 27, 2007 at 11:40:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Darlene said...

incredible you...and to think that the waves are just what happens in its first few layers....imagine the depths, treasures and secrets that lie beneath.

(((((((((((you & me))))))))))

loving my sis
oxxo dar

March 27, 2007 at 3:19:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Daibh said...

Great portrait; I like the hand in the shot, and the color, then pensive off-frame gaze. Good stuff.

March 27, 2007 at 6:56:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This portrait is adorable, an so your words. You're wise girl, you sure are :)

I love you!!

March 27, 2007 at 9:37:00 PM PDT  
Blogger la vie en rose said...

your beauty takes my breath away!

March 28, 2007 at 11:14:00 AM PDT  
Blogger kim said...

I love this book, this combined with the book the secret have me emerging anew, I love you blog and your spirit, So honest and true.

March 29, 2007 at 6:13:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Admin said...

such a beautiful quote. thanks for sharing.

March 30, 2007 at 12:00:00 AM PDT  

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