Tuesday, April 17

spc & master cleanse ~ day three

self portrait, canon digital rebel xt

I chose this picture for this month's Self Portrait Challenge "body parts" because I felt it was quite apropos for this week and some emotions that are surfacing during the cleanse.

I feel like there is a bit of a battle going on between my physical and emotional self. I am not really that hungry, although my mind tells me I am because I tend to emotionally eat. Food and "chewing" my food comforts me and I am sure that this is why I have gained weight over the past few years because comfort is something I need through this journey.

This awareness has caused me to stop each time I feel hungry and ask myself if I really need another glass of the lemon drink or is it that I am wanting to distract myself from something that is going on in my head.

I don't have the answers yet.

This past month I have felt the most solid with this journey than I have in a long time. I haven't felt sadness or anger or pity. My mind has been in other places than trying to conceive. I wonder if this is a numbness or if it is just healthy. This is what I hope the cleanse will draw out of me. I am hoping that it is just healthy. I am tired of being sad, angry or depressed over this. I'd like to think I am just letting go and trusting rather than becoming numb.

I feel like each day on this cleanse I am fighting my instinct to emotionally eat...and rather dealing with the emotions at hand. Who knew food could mean so much more than nourishment for our bodies.

As far as details on the cleanse...today was WAY easier than yesterday. I put the appropriate amount of salt in the salt water flush drink this morning and it was a cake walk compared to yesterdays "Ocean Water". I didn't deal with cravings today but my stomach does feel a bit empty. A sensation I am getting used to. The drink provides me with the energy I need to do my daily stuff and it fills me up a bit but I never feel quite as full as I do when eating. Perhaps because I am used to eating larger portions than I need. I don't feel grumpy. I feel calm. I feel a bit of sharpness in clarity. I haven't had any allergies or asthma...which I typically do. So, this is actually helping that as well. My skin feels like an infant's bum it is so soft and clear. My pants feel looser as I have already lost 4 pounds.

Boho Boy is doing so well. I am so proud of him for sticking through this with me. We joke about not mentioning food around one another. He sent me a link of gross images to look at when I feel hungry. It totally turns my stomach and works! He's dropped about 5 pounds so far and his skin is glowing. If we can get through this together, I feel like we can do basically anything because we are both passionate about eating.

We're talking about gradually moving into a raw food diet after this. At least two to three times a week...and then the rest would be the blood type diet. We are learning how much the food we put into our bodies truly affects all aspects of who we are...health, mind, body, soul, etc.

Again....thank you for rooting me on and keeping me rooted. Wow...I wrote the word "root" and thought of eating a turnip. Weird. ; )


Blogger Intrepidflame said...

This photo reminds me a lot of Sarah's work over at Rustic Relics. I love that washed yellowy/green hue all her pictures and now this one have.

I also really like the soft unfocused feel, it really goes well with the words you wrote.

Good luck with the rest of your cleanse. I fasted last year for Ramadan, just to see if I could do it and felt very similar thoughts as you. We consume to fill gaps in our lives. After a wile you will start to relish those gaps and allow them to be there.

Nicely manicured nails by the way. And since everything eventually always leads back to me, I was really curious what your reaction was to my post this week. Give it a looksy!

April 17, 2007 at 5:13:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Colorsonmymind said...

I like the picture too baby doll.

It really does capture the essence of the post perfectly.

I am glad today was easier and that your skin is responding so well.

The fact that you and Boho boy are doing it together makes me smile from ear to ear.

Love you
toe to toe

April 17, 2007 at 6:03:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is a beautiful photgraph and shows the difficulty of your fast. good luck to you.

April 17, 2007 at 6:11:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Stacy said...

Hi gorgeous,

Yes, food is most definitely more than nourishment for our bodies.

My relationship with food is much like yours ~ emotional and comforting.

I know you don't want to really discuss food for a few more days, but If you are interested, we made some raw food items in class on Saturday ~ I would be more than happy to pass them on. I am also taking a raw foods cooking class after the one we have next month. You are going to get some really good info in the class. You will also be able to share master cleanse stories as a few of the girls in class have done them, some multiple times. Anyway, the holistic nutritionist speaks a lot about feeding more than just our bodies with healthy choices.

You are doing great on this cleanse. You are truly an inspiration. The fact that you and boho boy are doing this together is so amazing and wonderful. What a great support system.

Intriguing photo too...xoxo

April 17, 2007 at 6:16:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Letha Sandison said...

I love this photo...and ALL your photos!!!

You and CK are the coolest couple in the world!! I am echoing Dace, come live with us!! How do you feel about running water and power, is it really necessary :)

I miss you all ready!!!! Come back!!

April 17, 2007 at 7:41:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Kirsten Michelle said...

beautiful boho,

thank you for the photo and the post, as always they are a perfect pairing...i find them overwhelmingly honest and wish i could pick up the phone and call you or better yet offer up a great big hug!!!
i read and re-read your posts and wonder how i can possibly feel so connected to someone i've never met...i wonder about what to write and how much to say here in this space...it's a funny place this cyberworld!
i blog, but just for family. i struggle daily with my readiness to make it public, and yet clearly there is a support network that goes far beyond family and friends...a global tribe...rooting for you, that's truly amazing!
i've taken up alot of space here today so i'll sign off soon. i just wanted to add that while i wasn't sure i was ready for the master cleanse, your post yesterday inspired me to sign up for a raw food detox program...5 weeks! i met my coach today, pick up my program on friday and my pre-cleanse week starts monday..i'll let you know how it goes!
i love that the whole time i've been writing this your photo from yesterday has been staring right at me...i love that photo!!!
you inspire me!

April 17, 2007 at 8:48:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sweet you, I have a feeling that when this cleanse is complete, you will have a much clearer perspective on many things. I am so proud of you and C for doing this and I have no doubts that you will both get through. You and Thea are such inspirations to the rest of us. I adore reading your daily updates and following the journey and the discovery.

I'll send email love when I return this weekend.

Love you.

April 17, 2007 at 10:29:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love this photgraph. It says so much.

Reading your experiences with the cleanse gets my courage up to start with it too. So thanks for sharing this here in bloggie world.

Love and kisses,

XOXO Silvia

April 17, 2007 at 11:31:00 PM PDT  
Blogger luzie said...

That's such an intense picture. It's beautiful.

As a fellow emotional eater I really applaud your courage and dedication to reflect. You're doing such a great job with the master cleanse.


April 18, 2007 at 12:03:00 AM PDT  
Blogger britt said...

before i had my children, i was way into fasting and raw foods. it was such a spiritual experience. doing seasonal fasting really helped me achieve my spiritual goals faster. eating clean and raw foods really put me in tune with myself and the world. i did raw foods for about a year and a half, mixed with fasting and then a 2 month total cleanse and got pregnant right after. i felt it was a great way to give my baby a new life. now, 6 years later, i can't say i have fasted much or eaten as much raw foods as i like (used to be almost 100%). parenthood changes everything. use this time for you, to cleanse and heal!

April 18, 2007 at 5:37:00 AM PDT  
Blogger genine said...

hi there sweetie - knew you were doing this, and wanted to pop over to see how it was going - glad yesterday was easier...and that you're feeling clarity and good about this choice!

miss you - genine

April 18, 2007 at 8:08:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Regina said...

Way to go! You and BohoBoy are so inspiring!

April 18, 2007 at 8:53:00 AM PDT  
Blogger jenica said...

i'm completely an emotional eater. so try this. when you drink your lemonade, chew it; sort of swish it around in your mouth, tasting the flavor and mixing it up. it sounds a little odd, but doesn't a salt water flush sound a little odd too? ;-D you'll feel fuller and will digest better too.

there is a reason that this is called the master cleanse; you master your body, your thoughts, your actions, and even your emotions. i'm so proud of all you bloggie babes taking on this challenge!

April 18, 2007 at 9:47:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're so amazing for sticking it out! And you're an inspiration.

April 18, 2007 at 10:13:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I’m writing to tell you that your words & pictures made my day better. I happened upon your website. I’ve been reading it sporadically the last six months or so, but then today, while uninspired and spacing out a dull workday I read your archives and felt such an affinity towards you and who you seem to be. It made me feel lighter, more alive, more attached to the world and not quite so alone. My name is Kathy, I’m 31, I live Michigan. I’m a cancer survivor. I can’t have children. All my baby making equipment was carved out by a lovely oncologist exactly two years ago today, this very day, April 18th, 2005, which I guess is a reason for my searching for connection to something today of all days. I won’t go on rambling, who wants to hear rambling from a complete stranger? So I’ll just say that your words in your archives meant something to me. I’m telling you this because if I ever made such an impact on somebody’s life I’d appreciate being told so. All the best, Kathy in middle of nowhere Michigan. Kmk81975@yahoo.com

April 18, 2007 at 11:11:00 AM PDT  
Blogger gkgirl said...

good going you!
i'm here cheering you on
in my biggest of voices!
go you!!

April 18, 2007 at 11:15:00 AM PDT  
Blogger daisies said...

the photo is beautiful, i adore the tones and i am sending you two wonderful strong thoughts during this cleanse ... :)

April 18, 2007 at 11:28:00 AM PDT  
Blogger bee said...

hi, sweetie....

you and thea have inspired me to finally start the master cleanse once school is over and i don't need to write so many crazy essays. (i know it probably will sharpen my brain, but i feel like i don't want to take the chance.)

i haven't commented in a bit but i check every single day (like usual) and am TURNIPING *giggle* for you all the way.

you can do this. and i soooooo love that carsten is with you all the way and that you are going to try raw foods.

April 18, 2007 at 5:12:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Unknown said...

Love the photo. It really captures the emotions you've described in your post. Awesome!

April 19, 2007 at 7:14:00 AM PDT  

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