my true self

my eyes, taken by boho brother, canon digital rebel xt

"Today I had a conversation with my true self. She was perturbed with me. She asked why I had abandoned her, why I had ignored all her constant advice. And she reminded me of all the things I had forgotten. And never once did she say...I told you so."

~ Monique Duval, The Persistance of Yellow

Yesterday, as I was talking and being heard by my therapist, she kept asking me...what do YOU think about this...how do YOU feel about this. I always paused for a bit, searching, thinking...hmmm, how DO I feel about this? It was so easy for me to talk about how I think everyone else might feel but she kept bringing it over to me. She gently made me aware that I don't ask myself enough. That I tend to worry or think about everyone elses feelings about decisions I have made.

I am learning some tools to hear myself more. To tap into what my body, mind and soul are telling me. I mean...they do know me best and I am learning they are pretty damn wise. Not only are they wise but they are humble about it and never scold me for forgetting.

I love that.