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Friday, June 1

a whole new way...


boho boy, canon digital rebel xti

my husband and i have decided to begin a new refreshing path on our journey to conceive. a path of listening to our own inner wisdom and guidance. just him and me for now. outside influences were becoming too confusing, conflicting and not quite resonating with our hearts. it took time to get to this place but now that we are here...it feels like home.

it its scary and yet so empowering. i feel like i am breaking up with two people that i love so much but have realized they are no longer serving me and perhaps i am no longer serving them. the healing that was once there had somehow been stifled and it became hurtful, not helpful.

you know you've made the right decision when your whole entire being feels as though it is taking a deep breath and a sense of pure and divine freedom flows through you. a sense of knowing. a truth. a rediscovering of self and your own voice.

it's like a whole new way of learning, thinking, feeling, breathing...

27 Comments:

Blogger Kristin said...

Please forgive me if this comes out too forward or inappropriate in any way,that is not at all my intention. I have read your journey for several months now and you have been so honest and forthcoming about everything. But I have often wondered things such as Have you and your Hubby ever considered adopting? Sometimes I get lost in trying to understand whether your longing and desire is to create and bare a natural child or if the longing is to be a mother. Not that either has to truely be defined, but I was just curious. As a child of an adoptive parent I can tell you that my adopted father is more real to me than the biological father I have ever known. And I totally feel like as parents you 2 will be phenominal! Whatever babies you are given by God!

June 1, 2007 at 6:36:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Boho Girl said...

Dear Kristen,
Yes...of course we've considered adopting. I believe couples at this stage in the game talk about every possible scenario to help achieve their dream. We do not feel it is time to adopt yet. We might even adopt our second child. We'll know when and if the time is right.

I feel like I need to make it clear for my readers that my husband and I are also not against any type of "treatment"...whether it is Western or Eastern. We have tried both and for now we are just going with our gut and our heart. Our gut is telling us to take a break from both and just do it on our own for now, encorporating all the magical things we've learned and opening up to some new philosphies we are studying.

We just need people to trust and support this decision.

Thank you for your thoughts and concerns. I have friends who have adopted parents/children and it is so beautiful and inspiring.

In warmth,
Denise

June 1, 2007 at 6:55:00 PM PDT  
Blogger daisies said...

hugs!! glad you two are doing whatever it is that is right for you on your journey, your voice sounds strong and sure ... sending you tons of support my little part of canada ... xox

June 1, 2007 at 7:58:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Char said...

I think you've made the right decision when you become more in sync with the person you need to be more in sync with then the most beautiful things can happen. One of my close friends and her husban shut everyone elses suggestions out and soon enough they were blessed with a gorgeous baby boy.

June 1, 2007 at 8:37:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Kirsten Michelle said...

beautiful boho,

one of the hardest lessons i've learned as a parent has been when to turn off all the outside voices and listen with my heart to what is best for my own family. i believe you and boho boy have made an excellent parenting decision.
enjoy the freedom of this new path together...follow it for as long as it feels right to you!
with loving support,
k

June 1, 2007 at 8:54:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Stephanie said...

I've just recently put away (quieted) outside influences, also (books, those I deem as old hats or pro's, whatever) in the name of seekig Truth for myself. Not this same issue, but one that I find imperative to grow into whom I long to Be.
I'm finding my own thoughts and spirit are catapulting me forward, and I'm experiencing in those leaps an amazing amount of resilience, strength and comfort.
I hope you find the same joy and assurances.
In love, empathy, and peace,
Stephanie

June 1, 2007 at 9:05:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Goddess of Leonie said...

blessed be your path and your journey deni ~

choosing our paths is such a blessed thing... and we can only go where we feel called to go. there is such beauty and spirit in that.

with light and understanding always ~
leonie

June 1, 2007 at 9:41:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous ceanandjen said...

Beautiful you~ I am sorry that I have not commented on your last few posts, but I have read them. I am proud of the two of you for doing what feels right in your core beings. I can not imagine how difficult this decision had to have been this week. It is a brave and true decision, which makes it the only right one.

You have both put so much into this journey, and I know that you will continue to. You have gained so much wisdom in the process and I believe that you will put all of that to use now as you continue on your path holding each other's hands and believing in yourselves.

Tomorrow is a new day...here's to new life, both your own, as well as your little boho-to be.

Love you honey....and as T always says...dancing.

xoxoxo

June 2, 2007 at 12:27:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Lucia said...

sounds good! go with it! and enjoy the refreshing feelings. xxx

June 2, 2007 at 2:05:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous acumamakiki said...

I'm glad for you and Boho boy. You already know my opinions about this so no more repeats here - there is NEVER anything wrong with trusting your instincts and heart. xo

June 2, 2007 at 4:07:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Georgia said...

Good for you!

It is always so nice to follow your heart and go where it leads you.

You can never be on the wrong path when your heart whispers the way.

I look forward to reading as your journey continues to unfold.

Love to you,
Georgia

June 2, 2007 at 7:13:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Sam said...

You are very wise.

I have little to say on this matter, but am sending lots of love and support your way.

Sam

June 2, 2007 at 7:49:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

While I don't understand the pain of not being able to conceive, I do understand the heartbreak involved when it seems as though your most heartbreakingly beautiful desire is not coming to you quickly enough. Time can leave so much room for self-doubt.

I know that you've read 'The Secret' so I was just wondering if you've ever sat down and read books that are written for the pregnant woman. You know, 'What To Expect When You're Expecting' and the like. Sometimes, when I read your beautiful entries, it's as though you are beginning to believe that you will not become pregnant. I'm not saying that to hurt you, it's just an energy that I pick up on - and I could be completely off.

Denise, it is my sincerest wish that you will continue on your journey to conceive that little baby Boho that we've all been waiting for with the strongest belief that you are a mother at this very moment.

Feeling so much love for you right now, pretty girl.

kiss, kiss...
Amy, from "drowning-in-ink"

June 2, 2007 at 9:02:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Boho Girl said...

amy, sweet one...thank you for your love.

no honey, it's actually quite the opposite. i am beginning to believe so strongly that i will be pregnant and making a choice to hush out those voices (some authorities i've given too much power to) that question that possibility.

i am not sure why you are picking up on that energy but that's okay. no worries...

good to hear from you though. where have you been, beautiful?

oh and to everyone else...you are my ANGELS.

xoxox

June 2, 2007 at 9:09:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous debbie said...

Yay for you beautiful boho girl.

May your inner voice speak loudly and with great clarity and lead you to all things magical.

Your journey is beautiful. So very beautiful.

June 2, 2007 at 10:17:00 AM PDT  
Blogger rubyslippers said...

this is beautiful. i got goosebumps when i read this post! blessings to you and your husband and your inner compasses--i know you will find your way!
xoxo

June 2, 2007 at 2:34:00 PM PDT  
Blogger bee said...

i came to read this early this morning and couldn't think of the right words - i was so full of emotion. reading this entry made me very, very happy.

i hope you know that i always wish you the best and that i know that one day soon your dreams will come true.

i hope you have a wonderful, blissful, serene weekend with c. (oh, and by the way...your 'home' post was too perfect.)

June 2, 2007 at 4:18:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Colorsonmymind said...

hey love-

I am doing a boogy woogie for you right now.

What a truly profound decision.

I love these pics of you and C - you beautiful boho's.

The strength and clarity in you is raising me up with you-it is marvelous-amazing and so freakin exciting.

Go you!

You are so dear to my heart wise one.....so dear...

toe to toe

June 2, 2007 at 7:27:00 PM PDT  
Blogger jen lemen said...

i am so hopeful for you and want to celebrate this decision with you 100%--you have such a huge mother heart and good intuition. i trust your instincts completely and pray these next few days and weeks are lush, lovely, peaceful memory makers for you and the boy. i still see you pregnant so clearly in my mind.

June 2, 2007 at 10:31:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous mccabe said...

this makes me happy to read. follow your gut. i will always support that.

also-i know this is far from your point-but your husband is hot hot hot. oh-la-la~

:)

xx

June 3, 2007 at 9:41:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Alex aka Gypsy Girl said...

I agree that outside influences get us confused and without a profound sense of what is really happening in our hearts. You two are seem so in tune with each other! Your relationship and your decision making process are so beautiful! Lots of love to you both!x

June 3, 2007 at 3:15:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Amanda said...

"you know you've made the right decision when your whole entire being feels as though it is taking a deep breath and a sense of pure and divine freedom flows through you. a sense of knowing. a truth. a rediscovering of self and your own voice."
those words say it all.
i am happy that you have taken another step in a positive direction on this journey....

June 3, 2007 at 5:53:00 PM PDT  
Blogger jenica said...

yay.

Yay.

YAY!

June 4, 2007 at 12:20:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous amy said...

yes! yes! yes! cheering you on! follow that gorgeous heart and spirit of yours, darling! good for you!

sending you love and peace and patience...

June 4, 2007 at 9:11:00 AM PDT  
Blogger sweet expressions said...

I understand what you are going through I had a similar situation and tried everything to conceive, until finally I felt like you and just relaxed and gave up the idea of having children low and behold I became pregnant, the same thing just
recently happened to my nephew and his wife and they just had a baby boy in april. so do what your inner voice
is telling you be patient it will happen.

June 4, 2007 at 9:16:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Kathleen said...

trusting yourselves, in a partnership, is the most beautiful thing to do in a journey.
paul and i came to that decision a year ago and it really helped us become more grounded. we needed a break as we felt that we were losing ourselves in all of the chaos surrounding what "should" be done about my womb.
making it "just us" made us even stronger and helped us have clarity on what to do next.

along with everyone else, i hope and wish and pray for the first blog entry telling us about your sweet baby.

sigh.

lovelovelovelovelove to you dear denise.
feeling it all along with you - kathleen

June 5, 2007 at 6:03:00 AM PDT  
Blogger mames said...

what a wonderful and brave decision, have a joyful time with your attempts. there is the mother that is you waiting to come forward...i will think of her along with all your other readers.

June 5, 2007 at 9:09:00 AM PDT  

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