choosing your family*
charlie & logan, canon digital rebel xti
One of the cutest things about this picture that you can't really see clearly is the twin on the left has a blue electric guitar on his shirt and the one on the right has a yellow acoustic guitar. This means one is "a little bit country and the other is a little bit rock and roll". So cute. The parents found the twin tees at Twinkle Kids.
I feel like I need to put it out there that I am struggling with something today. I had a conversation with someone yesterday and the idea of adoption came up. I was sharing that Boho Boy and I have come to a place where we are feeling more at peace about this journey because we know we will be parents no matter what the circumstances. I say this because as much as we will always try for a biological child, we are very open to the idea of adoption. Even if we do have our first baby naturally, we have talked very seriously about adopting our second child. After my surgery in September, we feel as though we will be starting over on the path to getting pregnant but with this new excitement, we are keeping our options open.
The person I shared this with has no idea what it is like to be me, as getting pregnant was as easy as drinking a glass of water to her. I took that into consideration when I heard them go on about how there is nothing like being pregnant and having your own child and that if we adopted, we wouldn't feel the same closeness. Basically encouraging me to not give up trying to conceive.
Those words shot through me like a knife in the chest. Does this person realize I may not have a choice? Most importantly, I don't agree. I have known intimately or met several people who were adopted or have adopted and I recall one woman saying that she completely forgot she was not pregnant with her adopted child.
Even though I have yet to adopt, I see it as a different experience but all the more lovely and close and beautiful. When you actually choose a child to be in your family, that is on a whole different level of love. It's just so special.
The reason I am putting it out here is not for you to get angry at the person who said this to me and put any negative thoughts here in your comments about them (please). I'd love for you to share your adoption stories so that I can embrace them with hopes that it will sooth this pain I have in my heart.
I know people that have never gone through this can be very naive and not realize that what they say can be so painful. This person is not mean spirited but just has never had any life experiences with anyone adopted or who has adopted.
I did have my moments of being angry last night but I am passed that and just need some comfort. I don't want to put any more energy into that and today I want to grow from this, not fester.
I was a bit hesitant to share this because I was concerned that if any of you are adopted or have adopted, that what this person said to me may be really offensive for the same reasons it was for me. My intention is not to bring up any negative emotions but for you to dive deep into your story and share the absolute wild beauty of it. That is what I need and the world needs to hear.
What are your stories? Tell me some beautiful things...