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Wednesday, August 29

our angel*


a card i made for my parents with a picture of me and Daisy on Christmas morning, 2006

Those of you that read my big sister's blog may already know that my parents had to put their precious angel down a few weeks ago. Daisy had been suffering from seizures constantly and my parents were told she had a brain tumor and it would only get worse and more painful.

This happened while I was on the retreat. I was sitting in Kate's flat when I got the email from my mother that Daisy was no longer with us. I had a feeling I needed to check my email real quick and had asked if I could borrow her laptop before the girls headed out for the day. The email was a shock to me, even though I knew our sweet Daisy was so ill. My heart dropped into my stomach. I talked to a few of the girls about it and then needed to spend some time alone in the room I was staying. I let the tears fall. I think I can do that pretty well. Just feel everything and let it go through me. It's pretty rare that I am able to push things aside. I do it sometimes but not often.

I had a really special relationship with Daisy. My parents got her as a puppy when I was living in Dallas for a few years. When I transferred back to San Francisco, I stayed with my parents a few months before I found my own place. It was then that Daisy and I bonded. I would lay down with her in bed in the middle of the night when my parents were sleeping. We did this thing were we would both lay on our sides facing one another and she would put her arm up around me and I would do the same to her while we gazed in one another's eyes. Another ritual we had was every morning when I would get up to pour some coffee, she would walk up to me and reach her paws up to my chest and stretch like a cat.

These two things she did with me every time I would visit my parents the years to follow. She didn't do it with anyone else. It was our thing. She was like my little sister and to my parents...she was their little girl.

This was one of the hardest things they've had to go through. They are retired and spent their entire day with her. Especially when she was ill. They cared for her with diabetic shots, pills, lotions, ear medication, all day. Then all of a sudden, their home was empty and the sadness really hit.

It was difficult to hear them cry over the phone. I wanted to reach over and make it all better. That is always our first instinct, isn't it? But I knew they needed to feel this grief and let it wash over them before I started mentioning another puppy.

The other day I put a package together for them. I professionally printed and matted a few pictures I took of Daisy. I made them a card and a CD of songs in memory of our Daisy Girl. It was so healing for me. It was my time to grieve, to cry, to dance around in my studio with thoughts of her. It was a wake...a ritual of sorts, acknowledging that she is now our angel with wings.

I receive a phone call from my mother that they found a breeder in Washington that breeds Golden Retriever's and Poodles and they're called Golden Doodles (hilarious). My parents were expecting to have to wait over 6 months but a family cancelled last minute and they will be getting a female puppy the end of September. It's all happening so fast but part of me believes Daisy had a part in this, knowing her parents needed some joy back in their home.

Here is a picture of the new member of our family. They named her Callie. She is in the second batch of puppy pictures (Lacy & Toby's litter) and is the second puppy with the orange scarf tied around her neck. Isn't she precious?

Can't wait to snuggle this little curly one. She will never take the place of our precious Daisy but she sure will add joy and create another place to set up home in our hearts.

On a side note, one of my friends just congratulated me for being nominated for best blog. I had no idea what the heck she was talking about and then she sent me this link. I've never even heard of these awards but feel really honored and am grateful to whomever nominated me. I wanted to publicly thank them!

Here are a few of the pictures I took of Daisy Mae last Christmas:



24 Comments:

Blogger Kathleen said...

what a sweet girl...i am so sorry for your family's loss...

August 29, 2007 at 3:09:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Andrea Daoust said...

Dear Denise,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I just lost our family dog last year, my Step dad had died of lung cancer and my beautiful cody went just over 1 month after he died. I am a 100% true dog lover and can't wait to have one of my own. Interestingly enough we also had a beloved Norwich Terrier also named Callie- she was my aunt's dog but everyone loved her as much as their own. I think the fact that this new little one shares the same name as one who lived to be 19 years old is a good sign. My sincerest condolences for you and your family.

August 29, 2007 at 4:59:00 PM PDT  
Blogger cheeky said...

What an angel indeed.
They do bless our lives and bring an unmeasurable amount of joy to us, don't they.
As someone who has said goodbye to her beloved dogs, I can say they still bring joy and laughter in my life when I simply reflect on them.
Sending a lot of love to you and your parents during this time of loss. I'm certain Daisy will live on in their hearts and continue to bless them with heaps of smiles.

much love
xo
*the new "curly" is adorable!

August 29, 2007 at 5:17:00 PM PDT  
Blogger liz elayne said...

i am so sorry to hear of daisy's passing. i am sending peace to you and your family denise. i know how hard it is to lose the furry friend you spend your days with...

it is wonderful that they are inviting a new sweetie to love into their hearts, though...

blessings to you all...

August 29, 2007 at 5:18:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Athena714 said...

What a beautiful girl. I'm so sorry for your family's loss. My husband and I have our own Daisy May, and she just lost her sister Maggie just over a month ago. Animals touch our lives in ways we could never imagine, and losing a beloved pet is losing a friend and family member. Peace to you and yours.

August 29, 2007 at 6:34:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Schmoops said...

sending your family peace and healing love. i cried reading this. i, too, know what it's like to lose a beloved furry family member, as well as being there for close friends and family who have as well. they touch us in beautiful ways, they become our family.

through the grief, i always try and remember how life was better because they were here.

daisy is so sweet and, wow, what a special bond you two shared, and that callie is just a doll who will bring so many new happy memories. dogs are just the best.

love.

p.s. congrats on the nomination!

August 29, 2007 at 7:02:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Jaime said...

Sorry to hear about your old friend passing on, but I wanted to say thanks for the link to the pic of their new puppy. All the cute puppy pics made my roomate and I squeal. : )

August 29, 2007 at 7:40:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Jessica said...

I am sorry you lost such a precious doggy soul...I am a dog lover (have a black lab and a wild and crazy yellow lab/golden retriever mix) and they are my best friends in the world. Samantha, black lab, and I spoon...literally spoon! She is in front and falls asleep in 2 minutes flat - all 80 lbs of precious doggy soul love...dogs are so special and I am touched by your closeness.

August 29, 2007 at 9:23:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous shawn said...

oh i am so sorry! Such a tender heartfelt story. I know how that feels. Your post brought tears to my eyes. I am sending you a hug that lasts forever.

August 29, 2007 at 9:35:00 PM PDT  
Blogger deirdre said...

Oh, it's so hard to lose a pet. My sympathies to your parents. And to you too. A new dog never replaces a much loved old one, but it does help fill the empty places.

August 29, 2007 at 10:50:00 PM PDT  
Blogger LADY LUXIE said...

Congratulations! You deserve the award.I don't comment much but this time would like to say that it truly is inspiring to read here.

So sorry though for what happened to your dog. Just a while ago I was berating my own pooch for having an "accident" in the kitchen. I gave him a hug just after reading here.

And of course, I wish you and your family fun times with the cutesy new member!

August 30, 2007 at 12:25:00 AM PDT  
Blogger dreamergirl said...

What a beautiful card!

- I can understand a bit, i have a 13 year old cat, so giving her medication and taking care of her has become part of my daily routine as well.

I hope Callie will bring a lot of joy in your parents home and lives!

Love to you,

Silvia

August 30, 2007 at 12:37:00 AM PDT  
Blogger bluegreen dragonfly said...

my booger- a rescued 2 yr old weimer- do that too-sleep side by side on the couch facing each other, with our arms draped over the other. it's our weekend naptime ritual :-)

much love and kisses to miss daisy as she crosses over the rainbow bridge.

August 30, 2007 at 5:40:00 AM PDT  
Blogger PaintingChef said...

I'm so very sorry. My family has very recently been through something so similar and my heart is still sad. They had a 14 year old golden, Maddie, with whom I had a similar relationship. Maddie survived cancer when she was 5 and went on to live many more wonderful years until she finally let us know she was tired and it was time for her to leave her body. They now have a 4 month old Goldendoodle, Murphy and boy is she a handful. Like you said, we never replace them. But the right ones come to us when they are supposed to and we learn from them what they are meant to teach us.

My heart goes out to you and your family and I would like to imagine that your Daisy Mae and my Maddie Girl are now the best of friends swapping stories about the people who were so lucky to have been a part of their lives.

August 30, 2007 at 6:42:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Girly, I'm *so* glad that your parents are coping and the new puppy looks wonderful. Daisy's spirit will always be alive--through the three of you.

xo
Kate

August 30, 2007 at 8:55:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous mccabe said...

hi there....

i love the gift you put together for your family. i know they love and treasure it! what a gorgeous tribute to a loving family member. and the new edition is a sweetie!!!

i am so happy you got nominated! the description of your blog is perfecto. ;)

with love
mcmermie xo

August 30, 2007 at 9:43:00 AM PDT  
Blogger renovating this heart said...

Awww, so sad. It's wonderful to know she's free now though, but I know y'all must miss her terribly. She was a beauty. And I love how you used to lay with her... that's how I lay with my dog sometimes. I actually have a picture of us laying like that on the floor, facing each other. Such precious times. I just love dogs.

I know they'll be blessed by Callie while they continue to remember miss Daisy. I love the card you made... it's beautiful.

Love, calissa

August 30, 2007 at 10:49:00 AM PDT  
Blogger dean said...

May Daisy rest in peace for always.

August 30, 2007 at 3:06:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Darlene said...

Ahhhh precious Daisy...you captured her regal side ;)

Callie has some BIG shoes to fill and a wonderful mommy and daddy to look forward to.

(if she only knew how spoiled Daisy was v..v

luvins sistar
xox darlene

August 30, 2007 at 3:20:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Kirsten Michelle said...

i was in university when my parents had to put our beautiful Holly down. it was so incredibly hard for them and even though she was suffering it was such a difficult decision to let her go, especially for my mom. i still think of her so often, even after all this time...today i'm thinking of her running and playing with your daisy mae.

congratulations on the award, my love...
hugs and healing,
kirsten

August 30, 2007 at 8:45:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous ceanandjen said...

Oh tears on this one. I have been here..and it is so hard. I send your parents a warm hug and many thoughts of comfort.

The new baby is so so so cute. I let out an "eep" when I went to that website and saw those babies...they are incredibly sweet, and it is my hope that your beautiful parents will create new and wonderful memories with the newest member of your family.

love to you all....

August 31, 2007 at 9:08:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This post brought such emotion that I had to come back to leave a comment.

These pics are beautiful

I see and feel what a special soul this is. I am so happoy you got to expeince the bond you did-and I am heartbroken that your parents and family/you had to lose the earthly connection.

Love you
Thea

August 31, 2007 at 9:15:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Maddie said...

This post made me fill up with tears as I have been through this -
and it is space that can never be
filled except to cherish the
memories and love - I love how
you put together that package for your sister - and I have a labradoodle - ! They are so adorable and I think that sweet little
goldendoodle is cute as a button:)

warmest hugs

September 1, 2007 at 8:38:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous ChierGirl said...

Boho Girl,

Your blog is my favorite place to visit. Your photography and honesty is heartfelt. I didn't know about the awards either but I visited and cast my vote for you!

September 1, 2007 at 11:13:00 PM PDT  

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