three magical years*

down the aisle ~ 2004 , photos by robin nations

This month marks three years of marriage to my soul mate/friend/husband.

I spent some time this morning thinking about our wedding and the emotional high of that day. One of the moments that is closely knitted to my heart is when I was walking down the aisle towards Carsten.

I remember holding onto my father's arm so tightly as we walked through the trees on the way to the silky, rose petaled aisle. I could feel my father holding back the tears and I knew if I looked at him, the flood of tears wouldn't stop. I just looked ahead, stroking my dad's arms and telling him I love him. My father kept reminding me to breathe. He was a pillar for me that day.

I remembered waiting to feel afraid but that fear never came. I felt like I was walking into a whimsical adventure with a man that I could have sworn I knew as a child, playing in a field of flowers and giggling together. That's how I felt when I met him for the first time. "Didn't we play together as children?" The familiarity was other worldly.

Once my father and I stepped on the silk, I couldn't take my eyes off of Carsten. The way he looked at me wrapped me in a love and tenderness that I had always dreamed of. People told me for years that my idea of a husband couldn't exist. But they were wrong. It was right there before me and I wasn't afraid. I walked towards him with an open heart...feeling so sure of his love for me.

A friend of mine sent me an old Amy Grant song the other day. Believe it or not, she was my hero back in the 80's. I memorized the lyrics to all of her songs and still remember them to this day. I had forgotten about the song my friend sent to me.

When I heard it yesterday, the tears fell. I remember when I was in my early teens, listening to this song, dreaming of this very love I have found. Dreaming of falling in love with a man that loved me back fiercely. That wasn't afraid to give his heart. A man that was sensitive to the core but whose strength always made me feel so protected. I would listen to this song and imagine us dancing, gazing, filled with a warmth that was pure magic.

I didn't realize that I was manifesting a reality for my future...




Happy Anniversary my love. Our love inspires me every day. That day my heart was so full that I could never imagine our love growing because it was so big. But it has. Deeper, wider and more free. Thank you for loving me so much that you set me free each day to create the world around me that I need to thrive. It always draws me even more near to you. Every day...

Here is the song:

Let me say once more that I love you,
Let me say one time, maybe two,
That I love the way that you love me,
And I wish I knew more of you.

Tell me that time can't erase
This look of love on your face.

Let me say once more that I need you,
One more time or just maybe two.
Oh, my life will always be richer
For the time I've spent here with you.

Let me say once more that I love you,
Let me say one time, maybe two,
That I love the way that you love me,
And I wish I knew more of you.

Tell me that time won't erase
The way that my heart sees your face.

I call your name,
You look my way,
It's clear you trust each word I say.
When life is long and problems come,
You'll always be my only one.
So now we're standing face to face,
And with one look your eyes embrace me.
Squeeze away each haunting fear,
And say the words I long to hear.

Tell me that time won't erase
This look of love.

Let me say once more.
I love you.
I do.

"Say Once More" by Amy Grant