Saturday, September 8

feeling the love*

mcmermie, me & schmoops, early august, canon digital rebel xti

I am lying here propped up in the flowy princess bed in the studio with dragonfly lights hanging, candles burning and zen music playing. I have learned that this is how my body can relax the most. I finally have a few moments where I feel capable of sharing a bit of what has transpired over the last few days.

First I want to say how cute was it that my husband posted a few days ago? Adorable. I know he felt really grateful for all the love, prayers and warm thoughts sent our way and wanted to make sure you all knew he was thinking of you too and that nothing was taken for granted.

My marmie left yesterday morning. I missed her as soon as she walked out the door. It's been a difficult month for my parents since their dog passed away and I was grateful that she still gave of herself during a time when most people want/need to be selfish. She was a red-headed love bucket and such a calming presence for me.

My husband had a crazy work week with deadlines that would keep him up late, so my mother's company and help was greatly needed and looking back, I am not sure what we would have done without her.

It was such a comfort to have her by my side in the hospital leading up to surgery. I was calm on the outside but on the inside I was all butterflies. This was the first time for me, so you can imagine. I did end up having little angels for staff that morning. The nurses were loving and attentive during the two hour prep. They made me giggle when I needed to. They were affectionate, rubbing my back and stroking my arms when talking with me. They kept telling me how shiny and lovely my hair was. I mean the last thing I expected to feel going into surgery was beautiful but they worked their magic! My mother was so impressed with how everything went so smoothly and how kind and attentive everyone was. I couldn't have asked for a better experience in that sense.

Like everyone I am sure, I was doubtful that the anesthesia would work! I am a light sleeper and cannot imagine being that far gone. But oh how quickly I drifted off into the land of feeling good. That is until I woke up a few hours later in a ton of pain and totally out of sorts. My marmie was by my side and later my husband was able to leave work and be right there in his shirt and tie looking all gorgeous. The nurses winked at me when they met him. Meds were running through my veins. Life was good again.

So the cysts and endometriosis has been removed throughout my reproductive organs. The dye that was put through my tubes went through perfectly, which tells us that my fallopian tubes are flowing with love! I still have yet to talk to my doctor about exactly where the endometriosis all was but something tells me it was in bits and pieces everywhere because I feel so raw and tender. I still am unable to sit up straight but the meds are keeping the aches under control. I had a few minor complications here at home but it is all okay now and the healing has begun.

I've been taken such good care of by my angel marmie and boho boy. They have fully supported my need to rest, rest rest and be gentle. I find myself feeling guilty when others are taking care of me but I know that this is also for a greater purpose and its not just about me.

I am taking this sacred time to catch up on some books, films, writing, phone dates and dreaming. I am really loving the book "Detox for Life: Purify Mind, Body & Soul" by Josephine Collins.

I feel really empowered and at peace now that this step is over with. I have been through a cleansing process spiritually, mentally and now physically. I am/we are beginning on a new and more enlightened path to taking care of ourselves as individuals, as well as, completing our family.

What's cool is that I feel my close friends, family and sweet readers are walking along this path with us. We felt your spirits, your prayers, your whispers, your creative expressions all flow into the hospital, the surgery and in our home this past week. The power of community blows my mind and I am certain that I am healing faster because of this.

Definitely feeling the love.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sending you strong, healing, soothing vibes and lots of hope for the future! I'm so glad that everything went well for you. You're so lucky to have your mom and husband taking such good care of you. Smiles...

September 8, 2007 at 3:39:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what cute girlfriends you have!

seriously though, that picture brought happy tears to my eyes...its you and your magic.

you are loved and cherished by soooooo many, i am glad you are not only feeling it, but receiving it as well.

i see big, bright things coming your way....

exciting stuff!!!


September 8, 2007 at 4:47:00 PM PDT  
Blogger PixieDust said...

Many blessings that you have come through this safe and sound. Though we have never met, and you don't know me, believe that I wish the best for you, your husband, and the precious life you have yet to bring in to the world - by whatever means that life becomes yours to care for.


September 8, 2007 at 5:41:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Unknown said...

Such a beauty you are - inside and out. I'm praying, hoping, and sending well wishes to you.

September 8, 2007 at 7:38:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Wendee said...

I echo pixiedust's hopes. It was so good to read your words today, although bohoboy's message was really thoughtful. Sending warm, nurturing thoughts your way. Stay safe and warm and cozy and know that you have all of our affection at your side. Hugs!

September 8, 2007 at 7:40:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so happy to hear that you are doing well. I've been thinking of you all week and I'm so happy for you. I think I saw that book once before - it looks like a good read. OK On a girly topic - you really do have beautiful hair. What products do you use???
Cheers & Hugs to you- and SPEEDY healing!!

September 8, 2007 at 8:18:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Martha-Anne said...

glad to hear that you are doing well!!!! how amazing and important it is to have friends like that!

September 8, 2007 at 8:58:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Craziest of healing prayers and joyful smiles for what lies ahead of you!!

September 8, 2007 at 9:08:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have such a smile on my face. :) I am so glad you are being well taken care of and that you are recovering nicely. Sending you love and warmth Sweet heart...


September 8, 2007 at 10:01:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Lady Prism said...

I am happy that you are well.

How courageous you have been through everything:>

September 9, 2007 at 2:14:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what a gorgeous photo!

i'm happy to hear you're feeling good! i'm excited for you. enjoy your cozy weekend. xo

September 9, 2007 at 4:15:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Left-handed Trees... said...

I am so glad to hear all went well...I have been quietly following along on your journey, but wanted to be sure to say I wish you the best!

September 9, 2007 at 5:18:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Deirdre said...

I'm so glad everything went well and you're feeling better. You have such a wonderful support system - there's nothing like having mom when you need her. Rest well sweetie.

September 9, 2007 at 5:44:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

luxuriate in the rest now girlie, cuz i've a feeling you have a verrry happy busy year ahead of you...and we both have a birthday to look forward to next saturday!

September 9, 2007 at 6:38:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Julie @ Letter9 said...

I am always interested in people's descriptions of other people. Maybe it's a deep desire to know how people would describe me, I don't know. But I would absolutely love love love to be described as a "a red-headed love bucket." How wonderful.

I'm glad that your mom and husband were there for you this week. Take care of yourself and let that body heal. It always takes longer than you expect.

September 9, 2007 at 10:31:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Unknown said...

love, love

September 9, 2007 at 12:32:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Colorsonmymind said...

Hi sweetness. Oh i want to be in that hot girl sandwich!

I miss you so much I ache.

I definitely have to come see you darling. Soon.

I am soooooo happy all went well and that you are loved and pampered by those you love.

Love and snuggles

p.s. you do have the softest most shiny hair I have ever felt:)

toe to toe

September 9, 2007 at 6:06:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's to cleansings...clearings...and new beginnings. Be well.

September 9, 2007 at 8:25:00 PM PDT  
Blogger studiocitro said...

nurses are amazing people. i remember how i admired them when they were prepping me for a minor surgery - their attention and love made all the difference in the world!!! and then i came out of anestesia and under the influence (which i hear is pretty common) i was so emotional that i almost started crying telling them how much i love them. ha hahah.

September 10, 2007 at 1:37:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glad you're on the mend and feeling the love being focused on you right now.

September 10, 2007 at 9:14:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

good things ahead honey...good things ahead....

sending you love and healing power

love you.xoxox

September 10, 2007 at 9:39:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Vanessa said...

I'm so delighted to come over and find the good vibes flowing and the thumps-up post-op update :)
Things must have been very sore for a few days so it's sweet and relieving to know that your marmie and boho.boy were there for you all the way (of course) and that the worst is behind you now.
Relish the rest and continue to chill.
So glad you feel the looooove.

... and that photo is simply delicious.

September 10, 2007 at 11:29:00 AM PDT  
Blogger daisies said...

i adore that photo : ) makes my heart smile!! and am so happy that everything went well ~ lots of rest and love and beauty and snuggles with your cute kitties ~ xoxox

September 10, 2007 at 11:56:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Intrepidflame said...

I have been away for a while, but I just read about your surgery. I wish you the best and hope that you are back on your feet as soon as possible.

much love jabiz

September 12, 2007 at 12:35:00 AM PDT  

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