i had a dream...
Zsuzsanna at her home in San Francisco, canon digital rebel xti
I was working in my studio today and a song called "Dream" by Priscilla Ahn came on. It halted me. I turned it up, listening closely to her chords and her lyrics. I closed my eyes and imagined myself singing it on a stage or to a group of close friends. Tears fell down my cheeks, unexpectedly.
I feel this emotional about dreams tucked away inside me that I have yet to do. Playing the guitar religiously is one of them and so is dancing professionally. With hardly any training, I am a good dancer and was told this when I was young. I was in modern dance years ago and wanted to do ballet until one of my instructors told me I was too short. The most I did after that was cheerleading and took belly dancing classes. I met a ballerina once in my twenties. She was my height and told me my instructor was wrong. I wonder how different my life would have been had I not listened to her.
With all this, I know I have lived many of my wild dreams and I am so grateful for this. My photography, my art, my marriage, friendship circles...but I always get those pangs when I hear a song that moves me or see a dance that gives me chills. You know that pang down deep in your belly. When you imagine yourself doing the same thing and you feel the crazy messy emotions tied to it well up inside of you.
I know there is still time and today I was reminded of that. Sometimes I feel myself holding back from picking up the guitar or taking a dance class (although I do twirl around at random). Not only is time an issue but more importantly, it brings up sad emotions of me not taking those risks years ago. I feel like I am too old or too busy. This can't be true. I know it is not true and I am working on reprogramming those thoughts.
Speaking of people who live their dreams, my lovely friend Zsuzsanna (above) is one of them. Born and raised in Hungary, she came out to America about 7 years ago when we met at the company we worked for in San Francisco. I saw a passion in her that was unstoppable and since she has always tapped into what she loves and dreams of. One dream in particular was going to Italy and staying with some locals with a girlfriend. She rode around on a motor cycle on her wedding day. She found the perfect Victorian house in San Francisco. She landed her dream job at a creative company. She makes her dreams a reality. An inspiration to me and a friend my thoughts went to when thinking of this concept. Love you and your dreamy self Zsu!
one of my favorite pics of me and zsu
What is a life without dreaming and yearning for those dreams to come true? Daring yourself to make them happen?
What are your dreams...