photo friday :: silence
me this past weekend, taken by justin davanzo
My home feels so quiet. Silence. The air is still filled with their fragrance. The blankets are still twisted. The pillows still bare the imprints of their lovely bodies. Its almost as if they haven't left but the silence is a reminder.
I feel restless with the silence...but it is the one thing I need right now. Throughout all the many revelations that came up for me during this visit, the need for quiet time kept surfacing. I've been busying myself with doing and have been afraid to stop and listen, breathe and wait for what comes up within me.
Post surgery, I have entered a new chapter on this journey. I think it is time for me to set aside the books on fertility and just meditate. Write. Breathe. Walk. Run. Swim. Listen. Create. Paint. Get Messy. Oh...and read other books besides those having to do with health. The girls gave me a list to read. It's time for me to peek around the corner at what else I need to learn besides how to take care of my body.
There was a moment this weekend when us girls were all sitting around the table drinking our teas and coffees and they were discussing the latest books they have read. As I was listening to them passionately share the authors and their stories, I suddenly realized how hungry I was. Not for food but for wisdom that goes beyond the health and fertility books that sit on my beside.
I had a healthy, joyful cry with them about how I am ready to move forward and open my heart to a part of me that I haven't nurtured in a long time. The part that isn't necessarily about trying to make a baby but just trying to explore all else that is out there for me to see, touch and feel. The part that isn't afraid to sit in silence and meditate to connect with my inner me, not for the purpose of opening my womb but for the purpose of opening my heart.
One of my clients at a photo shoot this weekend in Santa Monica grabbed my camera at the end and took this photo of me. When I first looked at it tonight I gasped. The very quiet, silent place I am seeking for is captured here. Another reminder from the Universe that this is what I need.
I will share pictures and thoughts on the girly fest soon. But for a few days, I will marinate in the silence that surrounds me.