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Monday, October 1

true love*


my niece, kelly ~ canon digital rebel xti

"Once upon a time,
a girl prayed for true love.
Her prayer was answered.
She learned to love herself."

~ Monique Duvall, The Persistence of Yellow

Learning to love myself the way I need to be loved has taken me a long while to figure out. Just like any relationship, really.

Tell me some things you do that shows your~self how much you love you.

26 Comments:

Blogger Jaime said...

I've decided that Sunday and Monday are my days off every week, no matter what. Everyone deserves time off. : )

October 1, 2007 at 6:04:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Linda Salas said...

I eat right, Everything has changed since I changed to mindful eating, I enjoy everything more, people, experiences, music, my body, my husband... it all changed for the best...
I allow myself to be creative, to paint and also to have fun with my job.
I don´t take myself too seriously... I rather be silly!
XOXO
Linda

October 1, 2007 at 6:14:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Schmoops said...

hmmmmm, well you hit the nail on the head when you say that it's like any relationship.

it has taken me a long time to figure out too, but the one thing i always work on is "attitude of gratitude". {wink}

some of the things i do to show myself how much i love me is by continuously working on changing the negative inner speak into positive talk, and mirroring my inner vocabulary to match the same way i talk to those i love: with love, understanding, compassion, silliness and juicy goodness.

the one thing i am currently learning and putting into practice, which directly relates to loving myself, is finally understanding that i really do have control over my own life: i control what i put in my body, i now choose quality over quantity, i choose who to surround myself with, i laugh out loud each and every day, i paint the picture, i hold the power.

xoxo

p.s. gorgeous portrait.

October 1, 2007 at 6:20:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Megan said...

I stopped judging myself and gave myself permission to do the things I never dared before...no matter how simple.

October 1, 2007 at 6:23:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous lauren said...

one of the ways i love me is i spend time making my home my santuary. i like to change my bedding according to mood (just like my grandmother does), I change my scented oils in my candles..do I want fun and frisky, or mellow and sultry, i eat chocolate brownie batter ben and jerry's ice cream anytime I want it because it is so yummy (in moderation of course), and i call my sweet friends often, because they remind me of the beauty in life, and just how beautiful i am, even if i am not feeling it.

i know that i am a lurker- but i read your blog faithfully! you are a sweet inspiration, and i admire your poise and calm. i admire your yumminess! i also have endometriosis, and it is great to have someone so sweet to connect to.

thank you for being you!

October 1, 2007 at 6:29:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Kristin said...

Getting spa pedicures monthly without guilt! Once upon a time A yoga instructor of mine said you should remember to be greatful for your feet...They have brought you a long way on your journey this far. Since then I have started my tradition of giving them the spa treatment and always thanking them for bringing me through each stage of my life and putting up with all my weight physically and mentally!

October 1, 2007 at 6:39:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Samana said...

Welcome Morning

There is joy
in all:
in the hair I brush each morning,
in the Cannon towel, newly washed,
that I rub my body with each morning,
in the chapel of eggs I cook
each morning,
in the outcry from the kettle
that heats my coffee
each morning,
in the spoon and the chair
that cry “hello there, Anne”
each morning,
in the godhead of the table
that I set my silver, plate, cup upon
each morning.

All this is God,
right here is my pea-green house
each morning,
and I mean,
though I often forget,
to give thanks,
to faint down by the kitchen table
in a prayer of rejoicing
as the holy birds at the kitchen window
peck into their marriage of seeds.

So while I think of it,
let me paint a thank-you on my palm
for this God, this laughter of the morning,
lest it go unspoken.

The Joy that isn’t shared, I’ve heard,
dies young.

– ANNE SEXTON

October 1, 2007 at 7:34:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Martha-Anne said...

I make our home as comfortable and beautiful as I can. Making it more like us helps me to re-evaluate what I want as I wander through our home. Of course there's always a long way to go but that's the beauty of it.

October 1, 2007 at 7:45:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Jennifer said...

You are right, it is just like any relationship. You have to nurture it, water, it and work on it, and it will flourish and grow.

For myself, I will write letters to myself, seal them up, and lose them. Then eventually I stumble upon them and enjoy.

But now that you mention it I don't think I nurture myself and my spirit often enough.

October 1, 2007 at 9:03:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Kirsten Michelle said...

oh sweetie...i love this!!!

for me, two things stand out in my mind...

i'm learning to treat myself the way i've always treated my closest friends. i'm an excellent nurturer, i'm only just now realizing that if i start with myself, i can nurture so many more people!!!

and, i've taken to surrounding myself with amazing women who remind me, when life gets too crazy, how important my relationship with myself is ;-)

love to you,
k
xo

October 1, 2007 at 9:53:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Bethany said...

Cuddling up with a great book to pamper my mind... Relaxing is the most meaningful way I keep that lovin' feeling with myself (and everyone else, for that matter)!

October 1, 2007 at 11:57:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Fiona said...

The biggest learning for me recently has been that even if everything has gone wrong at work or I've had a bad day, I am still allowed to eat a really nice meal, go out with my friends, have a candle-lit bath. I've stopped running out on myself the minute life gets hard and started to practise 100% exquisite self-care especially when things get tough. I'm learning that everything I need is right here. That, if I lost everything, everything I need is within me and not outside me.

I love your blog, thank you for being such a great teacher and inspiration! x

October 2, 2007 at 12:44:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous meg said...

Learning to say "no". When I'm asked to do something that really doesn't feel right, politely declining makes me feel like I'm taking care of myself. Also, I'm trying to be more active and eat better, because I love this little shell of mine and this is the best way I know to show it how much I appreciate all it does. :) This new regimen has lasted a whole week so far; wish me luck!

October 2, 2007 at 4:06:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Mollie said...

This is something I've been really working on over the past three years. Currently, my main way to show myself I care is listening to myself and not giving into the doubt or worrying about the opinions of others when it comes to me.

Mollie
www.msmollie.wordpress.com

October 2, 2007 at 4:43:00 AM PDT  
Blogger wordnerd said...

I hadn't ever internalized my relationship with myself that way before....and often find that I get frustrated by slip ups and mishaps. I think I might do better in thinking about it as any other relationship. Wise Boho Girl....I always learn when reading your writing.

Some of the things I have been doing lately to show myself some love have been to just sit and BE...(that is really hard for me!)...I've also begun practicing Yoga and Pilates. I feel more at peace than I have in quite awhile.

have a great day

October 2, 2007 at 4:56:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for this terrific post.
I met my soul mate at fifteen. We married and bought our first home at twenty-one...and then I immersed myself in a life of caring for my family.
It took me until my mid-thirties to really explore my relationship with myself.
Consciously putting myself first has made me a better wife and mother.
I am an artist, but art used to get any left over scraps of time that I had. Now, I make a point to paint everyday...even if it's just for fifteen minutes...I sing...I dance...tinker with my guitar...things that get me in touch with my youth...things that I have kind of let get away from me.
I have a gratitude journal that I write in...not faithfully everyday, but it's there by my bed. Even if I don't write in it, just the sight of it reminds me of all the love that surrounds me. That alone,has permanently altered how I view my life.
Linda mentioned mindful eating. I just finished a great book,"Healthy Living From the Inside Out", by Mariel Hemingway. In it she talks of 'mindful eating',and creating a sacred space in your home. I just created such a space in my bedroom for my meditation. It's awesome...just the sight of it warms my heart!

"Life is Love. Love is life."
Nisargadatta Maharaj

Bright Blessings to you all!

October 2, 2007 at 6:48:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Scarlett said...

how wonderful are the comments to your wonderful post, and is a subject very important to all of us, obviously!! the comment by samana totally made me cry - for this is where i am - in ponderance of my life, what it all means, how i got here, and thanking the universe for all i have - i show myself love by making a wonderful, cozy home to be in, it is my sanctuary too, and that is where i find most happiness...

best wishes & blessings to all!!

October 2, 2007 at 9:33:00 AM PDT  
Blogger bluegreen dragonfly said...

I decided to make sunday night 'spa night'. I get out the foot spa and the scrubby and nail file and polish and give myself a pedi and then I get in the shower and give myself a facial with cleanser, scrub and then mask. and yeah, the pedi looks better when someone else does it and the facial would be more intensive if I went to a salon but by doing these actions, *I* am the one giving myself these gifts and focused on me.

October 2, 2007 at 9:37:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Jessica said...

I eat mindfully, I savor the food. I try very hard to fit in exercise every week, no matter what.
I am present for myself and for others - I take time to listen to my body and what it is telling me and I make sure I am truly present for others when they are talking to me. AND...I nap when my body tells me it needs to rejuvenate. I never ever use to nap.

October 2, 2007 at 9:42:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Del said...

First of all, I love reading your blog. My daugther-in-law told me to put it on my favorites. I love getting up every morning, I have learned to relax and actually enjoy every little thing that may be mundane to others. On Winter days I find it so liberting just to spend the day in my pyjamas. I love listening to my friends chat and love that they can tell me almost anything. Most of all I love that I am never bored.

October 2, 2007 at 10:07:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Lianne said...

Caring for myself may look like a nap, time with girlfriends, meditating, knowing that everything is going to be ok even in the midst of chaos, and speaking kindly to myself.

It is also standing in my truth and not letting anyone blow my candle out.

Thanks, sweetie.. for being there for me.

October 2, 2007 at 12:07:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Kate said...

Speak my truth. Even though it terrifies me. Even though I'm scared I'll be rejected. Even though I'm scared I'm wrong and everyone knows it but me.

My voice shakes and sometimes rejection is a part of it, and that hurts like hell. But it is not loving myself to edit who I am in the hopes of getting love from others.

October 2, 2007 at 1:48:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Christine said...

Modern dance! It helps me embrace my body for what it is, while also getting great exercise and learning to be more FREE. I always feel giddy when I leave class...ready to conquer anything. I love it, love it, love it, and it makes me love ME more.

October 2, 2007 at 8:17:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Colorsonmymind said...

Hi love-what a great question.

1. I make fresh juice every afternoon (miss a day here and there) with carrots, beets, celery, spinach, lemon, apple, cucumber. My son and I both love it and it makes me worry less about getting him to eat veggies at dinner:) My mom gave me veggie juice a lot as a child and I think it really sets up your taste buds to veggies.

2. Hired a business/life coach even though it seems too decadent.

3. List 5 things I did that day to be proud of each evening (life coach idea) to redirect my focus.

4. Going on a photograph taking date with myself once a week.

I would love to add the spa treatments mentioned above. Maybe I will:)

5. Last but definitely not least-I put down smoking-which I took up for a short jaunt. Not easy but very good to do:)

I have learned from working with this coach and from watching my sister in law make some changes-that smaller changes are easier to maintain. They may not feel as good at first but in the long run they make a difference.

You my dear are such an inspiration-you have been such a mentor in all things good for me.

I am lucky to have you in my life.

XOXOXO
snuggles and smooches

October 3, 2007 at 4:09:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Boho Girl said...

mmmmm...i am loving the way you all love yourselves.

i've been deeply inspired...

October 3, 2007 at 10:16:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Michelle (a.k.a. la vie en rose) said...

oh honey your photography is just brilliant!

October 8, 2007 at 6:38:00 AM PDT  

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