balm*

me & my cherub, taken by boho boy last night


my sweet boho boys today, canon 50D

Boho Boy had gone to get us some food while I lay in our hotel bed and cuddle our sweet son. He told me on his drive back that he saw our hotel from a distance and thought to himself "my wife and son are in that hotel" and it hit him, tenderly but also so powerful and he cried (a man cry, he says... ; ).

This overwhelming feeling of awe and realization hits me every once in a while, when I gaze at our baby and my heart fills to bursting and I get a huge lump in my throat. For years now the tears that have spilled over my cheeks have been those of longing and sorrow for this sweet soul but now they come from a joy and harmony I have never known as I hold him close to me. How often Boho Boy and I have looked in one another's eyes over the past few days and smiled or teared up with a knowing that all the hurting and longing of this journey was so worth it. Our baby has found us in the most perfect way.

Today we went to our 3 day of life check up with the Pediatrician out here (we love him). As we were sitting in the waiting room surrounded by darling young ones, Boho Boy caught me smiling while observing them play with the wooden toys on the floor. Later he told me he thought to himself..."I have my wife back" and it almost brought him to tears right there in the waiting room. He remembered all the other times when being in a room full of beautiful children would have brought to surface all those sad and tender places for me. Now I sit there with my cooing babe in my arms and watch them with peace and relief in my heart.

We are healing and our sweet Cedar is the balm.