Saturday, December 13

my daily weep*

Cedar loves to share us. He needs both mommy and daddy time during his days. Boho Boy had snuggled him for a few hours when I went out to run errands. By the time I came home, he was really missing me, my smell, my voice...me. He had revelled in his daddy time and wondered where the heck I was (I rarely leave the house these days).

So, he cried and cried hard until I came downstairs and put him in my arms. Then he hushed and fell instantly asleep. So, even though I came home with a list of things I needed to get done, I sat myself on the couch and shifted my energies to where they needed to be. Boho Boy put our favorite blanket on top of us and put on our favorite song (Devi Prayer by Craig Pruess & Ananda) and I stroked my baby boy to the rhythm of his tiny breaths.

Then Boho Boy whipped out the video camera.

And he captured one of those moments when I feel so much love for our child. When I find myself meditating on the long and messy/beautiful path that lead us to him and tears just start flowing.

Now its on video. My daily weep.


Blogger tammy said...

you guys just "fit" together, ya know?

the universe is right. just as it was meant to be.

thanks for sharing.



December 13, 2008 at 5:05:00 PM PST  
Blogger Louise said...

SO beautiful!!!



December 13, 2008 at 5:30:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Boy, I have to hand it to you - you guys are just natural at this! It is awesome to see human beings coming together as it is meant to be. Cedar is so beautiful. Congratulations and many many blessings.


December 13, 2008 at 6:00:00 PM PST  
Blogger BlossomingSoul said...

Wow, wow, wow. I love this. :0)

December 13, 2008 at 6:37:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lovely tender moments with Cedar. Cherish those. He is amazingly cute..I cannot get enough of that face!

~Jennifer xoxo

December 13, 2008 at 6:41:00 PM PST  
Blogger anj said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

December 13, 2008 at 7:48:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He's going to love this video when he's older.

Total perfection.

December 13, 2008 at 8:10:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beautiful moment to capture!
I have to say that you better get used to those tears flowing...it never ends...how all of a sudden you are just overwhelmed with love for your child...sometimes in the most embarassing of places...or maybe that's just me! ;)
Congrats congrats congrats!!! You have a beautiful family!

December 13, 2008 at 8:42:00 PM PST  
Blogger Alisa said...

Oooh I remember those moments...a certain song playing and the warmth, breathing, tiny heart beats...and I would weep, then my husband would wonder if I was ok cause it turned into the ugly cry, while telling him how happy I felt.

You are sooo beautiful and so is your family.

December 13, 2008 at 9:32:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The only word that comes to mind watching that is beautiful. There are no other words. I am so glad your dreams have come true.

December 13, 2008 at 10:56:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, Denise, so wonderful! Thank you for sharing such a perfect moment with us.

December 14, 2008 at 12:44:00 AM PST  
Blogger Alberta Art Classes said...

So, so lovely.

December 14, 2008 at 12:56:00 AM PST  
Blogger beth said...

blessings galore !! and tears are always a good thing !!

December 14, 2008 at 6:45:00 AM PST  
Blogger Terri Edwards said...

oh the daily weeps...ours is 4 months old and i still weep pretty much everyday. as adoptive parents, our path to having a child is a labor of love few can understand. so cry with abandon! every second you spend with cedar will be a treasure. i am so happy you're living this dream!

December 14, 2008 at 6:53:00 AM PST  
Blogger Jamie said...

Pure and utter beauty at it's finest. :)

December 14, 2008 at 7:03:00 AM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tears of joy, tears of laughter, tears of blessings, tears of longing, tears from the height of your hope to the love that is now nestled in your arms and all our collective hearts.

Sending my continued love,

December 14, 2008 at 8:06:00 AM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A mother's heart never stops spilling over, forever. Welcome to the ultimate sisterhood: Motherhood.

December 14, 2008 at 9:38:00 AM PST  
Blogger Swirly said...

You are so beautiful my friend. I love you.

December 14, 2008 at 9:59:00 AM PST  
Blogger Stacy said...

love you.

December 14, 2008 at 11:22:00 AM PST  
Blogger Jacki said...

So honest and true! Very beautiful, thank you for sharing!

December 14, 2008 at 5:49:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing your most beautiful and intimate moments with us. They always make me cry...of happiness for you!

December 15, 2008 at 8:17:00 AM PST  
Blogger pERiWinKle said...

laughter + tears = happiness! xx

December 15, 2008 at 11:13:00 AM PST  
Blogger Muffin Pants said...

Thank you so much for sharing something so personal...the feeling in my heart is so warm and beautiful. I just feel the love <3.

December 15, 2008 at 11:25:00 AM PST  
Blogger Laura said...

Hi Denise--Long time reader...first time commenter. I just wanted to say how totally happy I am for you and your family. Although our journey has not followed the same path as yours, we too had a long road to get our angel. I have been reading your blog for a couple of years now...and have to tell you how much I have resonated with what you have felt/experienced/lived. We are in newborn land also...wow. ;) Congrats and all the best to your new life of 3.

December 15, 2008 at 12:10:00 PM PST  
Blogger pERiWinKle said...

Our little Warrior was awake at 6 this morning...we got up, made each of us a cup of tea, and went to sit in the garden under the trees...hearing the sprinkler soaking the garden before the heat sets upon us...in this moment I thought of how incredible this journey is...how magical the tiredness is (heehee...not!)...and I said a little prayer for my beautiful friend with tears of laughter!

I love your laugh Sweetie...big hug to you and Carsten...and a butterfly kiss in Cedar's neck...right there behind his little ear...xx

December 15, 2008 at 9:56:00 PM PST  
Blogger Colorsonmymind said...

such a gift...to be with you for a few minutes through video:)

All I can utter is what a lucky lucky boy, and of course family for having found eachother, but the lucky boy part really stands out. hee hee

Oh and can you teach me how to do that shift thing? I still struggle doing it sometimes.

Love an kisses


December 16, 2008 at 4:53:00 AM PST  

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