self portrait challenge
boho, canon digital rebel xt
Self portrait as..."finding my strength".
It is difficult to describe in words what is transpiring within me but I want to share it with all of you, so I will try.
It feels like an unveiling of sorts. I have always known of my strength but I did not realize how deep it really was. I feel as though I have discovered a well of it in my soul and it's flowing...ever flowing abundantly through me.
First, it began with a conversation with Thea. She asked me to think about all of the amazing people/events/things in my life that have happened as a result of my journey through (in)fertility. Flashes of the beautiful faces of my companions (see side bar) came into my mind. My acupuncturist and her healing treatments. My marriage and friendship with my husband being solidified beyond reason. My father getting on his knees to pray. My mother and her perfect words. My sister and her wisdom. Old friends coming back into my life. Lovely friends and strangers sending me emails, packages and prayers of support. The list continues and will live in my heart forever. Rather than feeling bitter or angry that this is my path, I feel grateful for these gifts that otherwise may not have come into my life. Rather than punished, I feel blessed.
I had forgotten how it felt to feel blessed. I had been so caught up in not getting this one beautiful gift (baby) that I was blind to the other gifts I have received.
Then I watched the film The Secret. Wow...talk about life altering. It felt so harmonious to what had already been nesting in my soul. It has given me tools on how to harness this new perspective on life. Reminding me that I have the power to create my own life by my thoughts.
So now my days are spent visualizing and manifesting my dreams and truly feeling that joy as if they have already happened. When a negative or fearful thought creeps in, I replace it with a positive image and I FEEL that joy. My wise friend Leonie always said..."Joy is an option". Now it finally hit me where she was going with that.
I am blessed. I am grateful. I am finding my strength.